Mock Battles
Beside the Challenge grounds is a smaller area designated for mocks. Battle is a way of life in the land of Beqanna, and one must be in top shape to succeed over their foes. This land is a land of practice, where knowledge and skill is gained and wounds are healed immediately after by a watchful battle fairy.
critiquey :)
IP: 74.177.36.252
Posted on August 2, 2008 at 11:47:31 PM by e m o
well, I don't have a whole lot to say. You really did write a very nice battle post. It was all in accordance to the rules and such, and I really only have a few things to say about it.
First: The counterattack you made was a very good one. My attack with the rearing definitely left a window open and you took it and did well with it, so good job!
Second: The second attack, the running one, was also very good. I didn't leave a lot of room for you to attack, which would probably count against me in reality come to think of it. Still, try your best to avoid running attacks in the future where you can, unless you just get stuck with people like me who are ignorant and don't realize how unhelpful they're being, lol.
Third: When you described Lida's reaction to her first taken hit, it was good that you kept it up throughout the post, just to make the damage seem more realistic/like you actually kept it in mind and decided to make it apparent how harmed she was by the attack.
And Finally: the one thing that needed work on your post was just the fact that you basically left it up to me to powerplay a teensy bit when you didn't specify exactly what Lida's counterattack made of Nazi's original attack. If you reread, you may notice that you don't exactly say what was hurt from my second attack, so just watch out for little mishaps like that in the future. :)
Other than that, you did a really great job, and thanks for the practice - I needed it too! <3
Replies:
- lol - By coley August 3, 2008 at 03:15:05 PM
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