Gemstone Ridge

Oh, the memories
Of all the things that shouldn't be
They take you away from who you should be
Don't let it go by as if you agree

My breath is uneven as I feel his heart begin to pump harder. My own is fluttering around in my chest like a butterfly. My muscles tense as he takes a step past me. I force myself to relax as he pauses for a moment and rests his head across my back. Yes, I'm a little bit nervous. I have not spent much time around stallions let alone been touched by one. My mother avoided everyone, but stallions in particular after my father raped her. But his tenderness helps to calm my nerves and I am able to relax completely. Although I am not sure whether that is a good thing or not.There is nothing that I can do at this point to change what is going to happen. I am caught in helpless fascination. I rest my head, eyes closed, against his side, my breath calm and steady.

I am almost sorry to feel him move away from me. I was beginning to like the feel of his pale colored flesh against mine. I opened my eyes then I feel his weight upon my back. I expected myself to stiffen, but I didn't. I feel the softness of his lips as he speaks into my ear once more. I don't not understand the words that he speaks, but I can guess at the meaning. Love. Was this what love is? Was that why I felt such a passionately burning desire to feel him against me? I have never had anyone to love but my own mother which is such a different kind of love.

After a few moments of him fulfill his desire for me I feel him slip from my back. I start to reach out to him, but then hesitate realizing what I am doing. Did he really mean so much to me? Yes, I would bare his foal, but did I really feel such a desire for him?

"Rab,"

I try the name, tasting it upon my tongue.

"You know that I cannot stay."

Once again my voice is soft, but this time tinged slightly with regret.

"Come back with me."

Ok, obviously I have some sort of feelings for him. I don't know what possessed my to want him to come back to the deserts with me, but I did. Without a doubt I wanted him. What had I done now?