Let The Waves Take Me Down ;;

Vivian was cautious about the regular herd life he was offered. Granted, yes, he wouldn't have to worry about being accepted by the Rajputs now, or protected from them... but... herds made him nervous... Even with Henry, he felt like it was inevitable that in a regular herd Henry would realize how useless he was, in time, and then what would Vivian do? Herd life might not get to Henry yet, but eventually he would be affected by its nature, the circle of life thing. Vivian was like a square peg in the round hole of herd life: he just didn't fit. He was just going to end up taking up space, as far as he was concerned, but was that enough cause not to take up the space to begin with?

He still stood on the border to the forest, ears flicked into a position of uncertainty. He wasn't scared of what was in the forest... just... what could happen... in time... He didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing. It hurt too much to be disappointed anymore. See, one of the misfortunes to such consistent pain and abuse was a slightly warped thought process.

As such, the things that should, yes, flatter Vivian might not at all. Not that he would ever admit his unhappiness to Henry, would never share with the other that he didn't like the things he did. No, Vivian was too used to bottling those kind of things up deep down. Nobody cared if he was upset about something, so he spared them the trouble of dealing with those things. It wasn't always rational, but Vivian was beyond rational thought and very deeply into habitual instead.

But he did like Henry, a lot, and he hoped that not showing up would mean enough to the other as to hurt him, in which case he wouldn't want to hurt Henry, and was thus obligated to show, to stay, even if he knew how these things usually ended...

So, with a soft worried sigh, he made his way into the forest, following the scent of Henry, pushign those feelings deep down like usual. Frankly, Vivian would probably just see himself as a consistent and intriguing fuck for Henry, out of his own experiences, and Henry would probably change his views before Vivian ever did. That's all he'd ever been for people, so why should this be any different? he didn't view it with bitterness, just a tired acceptance.

When he found the small clearing Henry was in he stepped shyly out into the open, looking meekly at Henry. He felt a soft flutter in the pit of his stomach to see the stallion, ears flicking forward to catch anything he might say, though they still flicked with uncertainty and nervousness. He was apprehensive about herd life, even with his conviction to stay by Henry until the other sent him away.

"H-hi.."he whispered softly, as if he'd shatter the morning if he spoke any louder, and thus Henry's fascination with him. He treated everything like it were glass, was constantly ready for everything he had to shatter and fall apart. It was just the normal occurance for him, sad as it was. He felt a little stupid for having nothing else to say, swallowing a little.