My breath, stale with words of imperfection. Body riddled with pain and inner turmoil; There was always a choice, and I knew without a decision there would be no further movement. I listened to her speak, watched as she changed from restless, defensive then finally to emotionless. There was more to it than that, but I didn’t see her slip once. Queens, my Queens. I’d been such a horrible mate, a horrible father and just pathetic in general. I started to wonder whether I was in fact a sadist -- When it came down to it, yes I was. Right now thought I realised I hurt her more than I would have ever intended.

She cared for me, but I couldn’t even give thanks for that.
I never said it would be easy..

Now I stood, rigid, swaying slowly, unsure of what I was feeling. I wasn’t a crying type, but I didn’t normally show any emotion either. Queens reminded me of who I was, what I wanted to be.

The demoness also reminded me of what I had missed out on,
And thus far still was.
When she said the girls had been asking I did feel something inside me tighten.
I guess they did care for me after all.

Right at that moment I felt as though all of this was regret, and me not wanting to accept the fact of what I had done. Why did Queens watch my pathetic show when she could rip my throat out? I lowered my gaze and followed her lead by sitting down. Although it didn’t do much to calm me, it did clear my mind a little and I looked back up, orange luminaries staring straight at the queen before me.
The scene fell silent, just enough time for her to finish what she had to say. I felt hollow inside when the words came out, but didn’t shift.

‘Do you even want me anymore? Because, i've never wanted anything other than you. I can honestly say I don't think I could care for someone more than I do for you....but I will leave the decision up to you weither you want to stay or go.’

For a moment I didn’t answer, simply studied her. I saw the emotion slip through for the first time, and I knew this was her way of showing me how she felt. I stood slowly, paws daring to carry me over while she cried. I didn’t care if she were to kill me now.

I pushed my body against hers and moved my nose into the path of her tears. My paw raised as best it could in a way of an embrace, and I lowered my skull to rest next to hers. I felt my own luminaries now cry out, the little glimmers of real emotion creating wet streaks down my cheeks. I moved enough to not disturb her as I managed to whisper,

‘Oh, Queens. I do want you, and I love you more than I’d even thought to be possible. You mean everything to me, and even if you did exile me I wouldn’t leave your side. You‘re the one who has saved me so many times before, given me life and something to believe in. I don‘t want to leave.’

The last five words came out and I sounded like a little lost child.
Scared, hurt, in search for what I’d lost and loved.