I was running and getting nowhere, my paws were sore from slamming the bitter gravel aimlessly. It had been hours, four to be exact and I was only just picking up on the scent i'd been searching for, the scent i was begging for the last four hours to fill my nares and fill me with the relief i needed. I was scared and relived at the same time but what was i going to find a few miles down this road?.
My eyes narrowed, not in a bitter fashion only i was trying to concentrate on every object in sight searching out for those beautiful blue eyes. As i grew closer and scent stronger I began to wonder what i'd find at the end of the road, would I find my son running toward me with that happy go lucky style and huge grin. Absent minded i began to smile at the image playing out before me however the closer i became i soon realised that was not going to be the case.

I eased my pace catching gaze of a small figure laid upon the ground. My heart skipped a beat whilst breathing became intense. I questioned what to do, I wanted to run but on the other hand he could still be alive and simply, sleeping? Even wounded i could handle but anything else..? I didn't think my heart could take knowing the truth. I had to know and so without giving myself time to doubt my movements and bring them to a halt i let my paws guide me to the pup sprawled upon the ground helplessly.
He looked cold, sad and helpless. I couldn't breath, speak.. Move, i spent a good few minutes simply gazing down through ocean hues at my seven week old pup lifeless upon the bitter ground. Eventually i let my stomache meet the ground and rest my dark mixtured skull beside my boy whilst a whimper escaped my maw.

"Don't Leave Me...

It was a barely audible whisper that wouldn't even be heard by that who it was meant for. My face was stained with quick tears. I was emotionally broken, fighting mentally to keep my thoughts from drifting to harmful actions.
I'd laid quietly beside the pale pup for hours that seemed to last longer, the pain i felt was drifting and turning to something else, something that made me feel better about the situation to some extent, it made things easier. Anger.
I couldn't stay here, I couldn't mope over things that were impossible to change however, i'd find who fuckin' slaughtered my first born and make them pay. My thoughts were scattered, I'd lost grip of them and was beginning to lose control. I twitched with hunger, with lust.. I wanted to Kill, I wanted to cause pain and misery to all i could.

I was a clever bitch and mind games weren't new to me, I knew how to play those twisted, fucked up games but it made me paranoid at the same time knowing at any point someone could be doing the same with me, so ofcourse this only effected my trust gage. It had been 6 months since the slaughter of my first born and as you could imagine it was still very raw, still close to the surface and refusing to drown and die in the deep sea of emotion. I hadn't any lead on who did it, not a clue, it were like searching out a needle in a haystack.. It could be any wolf in Blossom. Hell, in that case.. I'd just have to fuck with them all.
Lately, i'd felt a little different, i felt hatred toward everything, everyone. Everyone could hurt you and at the same time I them, but who would get there first was the question. I thought back to how I was, a sweet mother to one with a promising future, no mate in sight but that didn't bother me at the time.. I knew my match would come i'd just have to wait for the right male, but now every male i saw I wanted to rip the throat out of.

Thinking of that day had helped pass time even though i could probably have found better things to think about instead of bringing up the worst day of my life, the day that caused the change in me, the day that altered everything i believed in. Whilst time had passed i'd grown closer to my target. The invisible border was at my paws soon enough with promise of more like myself. I'd heard the wolves of Malignant Felicity were twisted and so i knew i'd fit in rather easily.

I wasn't a lover of submition but i allowed the thought to escape me a moment whilst forcing my built figure to the ground. My neck would be exposed in good time, right now I were laid upon my stomache with a high held skull only to aim it to the darkness above me and allow my twisted melody to escape to dash for the terra's occupants. I wouldn't hang around long but i would most likely return in time. God knew I wouldn't fit in any other pack.. And the last thing I wanted was for sympathy or any other wolf knowing my history, this was strictly business.. Not pleasure.