Re(6): Time limits IP: 126.96.36.199 Posted on December 21, 2010 at 11:08:24 PM by Magnus Humphrys
Time limits??? That's never been a problem for us here on Mastermind.We plonk the poor unsuspecting bas***ds,sorry I mean willing contestants, onto a black leather chair which has been connected to an electrical power supply (it helps that our producer used to be in charge of 'Old Sparky' at Sing Sing) and fire questions at 'em at breakneck speed.If they hesitate too long,we turn on the juice and shock 'em .For each two second delay,the voltage is increased until the bas***d,sorry contestant, either shouts out an answer or screams "Pass".Now it is a commonly held misconception that when we shout,"I've started so I'll finish!" at whichever poor sod,sorry contestant, happens to be sitting in the chair,we are indicating our intent to finish that particular question. In reality it is an instruction to the bas***d,sorry contestant,that we intend to ignore their screams of agony once we turn the juice on,and that we intend to keep it on and up the dosage until we get an answer from 'em.Trust me we've never suffered from any undue time delays in nearly 40 years of broadcasting!
Of course all this is carefully edited before we go to transmission so as to give the impression of a train of bas****s,sorry contestants,sitting in a comfy chair and happily taking their time to answer our questions with the odd,gentle reminder from Yours Truly.We naturally don't wish to upset viewers of a nervous disposition.Clever stuff,eh?
Incidentally,it is also a little known fact that we Mastermind QMs tend to regenerate from time to time like Time Lords so it is always the same person asking the questions but with a different appearance.But again, to spare our viewers' sensibilities,we pretend that we have died and been replaced by someone else.(But I think we've divulged enough trade secrets for the time being).