Do you ever get lonely?

The question had made my lungs collapse, making breathing a struggle. It seemed like such an easy thing to answer, but I hadn’t been able to. Angel had watched me with his equally, eerie almost-white blue eyes, studying my reaction. I had tried to contain the shock I felt wash over me, but I’d stumbled and gasped, alerting him to the complicated swarm of answers rushing around inside of my head. I always seemed to lower my guard around him, and he knew it, he used it to his advantage sometimes and the harshness that lined his already icy voice would scare me. I had watched his sinister features twitch into a false smile too many times to fall for it, and this time I hadn’t fallen for it either. The question had sent a chill snaking around my spine, and the longer we waited for my reply, the tighter it had gotten. Constricted, and in that moment, I felt myself lose control of every situation that ever mattered. The fear was obvious in my matching almost-white grey eyes as I stared at the ghost I knew, his familiar shape complimenting mine in the effortless way that siblings managed. We weren’t like the usual brother-sister pairing who always fought, we were the family we never had, and stuck together through everything. We were twins; if he hurt severely, I felt it too. In our old line of business, we had to stick together. Now though we were just two wolves taking lead over a pack we hardly knew, trying to rebuild something that someone else had failed to take charge of.

We never really loved each other in the typical way that everyone assumed, neither of us had something that the other wouldn’t turn away from - I had nothing to keep my brother wanting to hang around anymore, since I’d been the one who blatantly decided to run away from my old life. One day I’d just had enough, and he’d followed me. I knew that despite wanting to make sure I was alright, he missed killing other wolves as a sport. He missed the hunt, the fighting. I felt like we were nothing more than strangers. I already felt miserable knowing we’d left the pack too long with Kong in charge, and I was worried.

The pack seemed empty; no wolves were around, only a few rusting memories of what we’d started to grow. I sighed and pawed at the ground, moving in silence next to my giant brother to help return our scent to the land. He looked angry, but it was an old anger. I never answered his question in the end, I just kept walking. Told him we had business to do, and that my emotional welfare was of no concern to him. I could smell a new wolf on the boarder.. And a challenger. My stomach dropped and I hesitated, raising my skull to listen. It was too late, my fill-in had already arrived and followed the trail to the clearing. I wondered why there was only one fresh, clean track from King Kong. He, too, had left? I wondered why no one had stepped in quicker to sweep the place out from under us in his absence. I needed desperately to talk to him, and I knew deep down that he wouldn’t loose. I’d seen something in his eyes.. I looked over to Angel, his own dead eyes staring directly back at me. I felt a new emotion wash over me, and he nodded once. Without warning he disappeared into the bushes. I knew the demon was going to clean up the lands, sort to speak, and look around. I’d hate to unlucky enough to run into him at the moment.

Business, I had to get to work like he was. I changed my direction slightly and took to the path that split through the lands and headed toward the boards on the other side. I continued to mark as I went, ashamed with myself and everyone else who had failed me as a pack. I wouldn’t take too kindly to seeing them again, but it was my fault as well. We’d disappeared, “a job”, something we had talked about never doing again. It was over, Angel had agreed right? I knew he wasn’t quite the demon to be talking to about anything solid right now, he hadn’t been normal for ages. He hardly spoke, always looked angry even when he deliberately tried not to. I missed my real brother.. Stop distracting yourself! I shook every trace of him out of my skull for now and returned to following the scent of the only other wolf around. It didn’t take me long to see her, waiting for the first signs of a wolf so she could hasten and roll over. I hesitated long enough to see if she’d be able to scent me. Stepping forth, I raised my banner above my spine and cleared my mask of any emotions.

I looked like a ghost. My pelt was a washed out grey, and my eyes were so pale they seemed white. In reality they were a grey washed, touched with the slightest faint shade of blue. I was a haunting sight to behold, and I’d been told by wandering brujo’s that I held a cold beauty. I looked insane, like something from an asylum, but I was stunning at the same time. Then again all of the brujo’s I usually talked to had wanted something, were part of a job, or ended up dead. In a way I wanted things to change, but I knew I couldn’t just abandon the cold-blooded bitch I’d been - every personality I had right now felt fake. I had no real idea who I was, so it was all the more reason I could start again.
I let my lips twitch upwards in a macabre grin, stained pearls showing years of use.

‘I am Paranoia, demoness of these lands. Please rise, it’s uncomfortable having to listen to me down there.’ My mask was inviting, but poisonous. It was clearly written in the way I held myself that I was being kind, and that it would take under a second for all of that to change if the situation arise. The slight Irish accent I held was obvious, smooth like honey slipping from a knife, but as dangerous as the serrated edge of the blade. ‘Benvido, my lady, to Munashii Gekko. We aren’t your usual pack - we are more than that, better than the average. State your name, and please explain why you feel like you can meet are expectations here.’

Something told me that this bruja before me would pose no trouble in answering my questions. I gave nothing away to help her answer, just stared forwards with my empty, dead eyes. I wanted to frown, to scream at everyone. I wanted to see where King Kong was, and to check whether he was okay. I just wanted answers for everything I couldn’t get my mind around. Instead, I took a short breath and quickly continued, cutting in before she could start to answer. I felt that maybe she deserved a bit more of an explanation.

‘I’m sorry that we can’t offer much more of a crowd right now, which is refreshing in a way, but we’re trying to weed ourselves out from these other packs - we don’t want weak wolves here, it‘s not just another place that I‘m going to watch fall apart.’ I perked my auds, acknowledging subconsciously that Angel was lurking around not too far from here. ‘Don’t worry about that for now, however. Angel is my brother, the other authority figure around here.. He doesn’t talk a lot, and is dealing with the border’s right now. We’re currently facing a challenge that the only other member of our pack, as it would seem, is tending to at the moment. He won't lose.. You’ve come to a new beginning, a place to start again.’

I couldn’t offer much more, so I nodded, telling her she could proceed now and answer my questions.