Mock Battles
Beside the Challenge grounds is a smaller area designated for mocks. Battle is a way of life in the land of Beqanna, and one must be in top shape to succeed over their foes. This land is a land of practice, where knowledge and skill is gained and wounds are healed immediately after by a watchful battle fairy.
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IP: 173.31.56.19
Posted on September 18, 2011 at 11:49:06 AM by kahzie
WINNER: DRUM MAJOR
Suggestions for improvement
ACELINE: Most importantly, break your post up into paragraphs. It’s hard to read a huge wall of text. Also, watch your grammar. Spell checks won’t catch it, but it’ll count against you in a battle. Also, while description is a good thing, it can get distracting when it’s in a battle post and does not directly relate to the battle.
DRUM MAJOR: you clearly played your character as not knowing a lot about battle, so I won’t bother to point out your character made some rookie mistakes. I’m guessing that you’ve got that xD
Good fight to the both of you!
Also, just so you know, since this IS the mock battles and not the actual challenge board, anyone can judge/offer suggestions for improvement, not just officers.
So feel free to ask others if you would like more tips/hints :)
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