Shame and guilt was most prominent on Rio’s mind as he made his way back to that oh so familiar territory- the territory he had not returned to since his Alpha’s own departure. He could hardly even bring himself to think her name, let alone say it out loud. The ache in his chest was too much to bare when he did so, and so he kept himself busy thinking of other things. Only, that other thing at the moment just happened to be the way he felt about returning home.. returning to a home he had run out on and abandoned. He had not seen nor heard word by either Raylen or Tamlin, the only other two wolves of Bright Moon he had become acquainted with, besides her of course. He felt full of shame and guilt for running out on his own personal reasons, as he had basically run away from his problems and not looked back. It had been over a month since he had left and in that time he had only met one wolf through his travels of Blossom. Soul was her name, and she had held the very faint of Ray on her pelt, which spiked Rio’s interest. But it seemed the two had to part ways before the conversation could really become in depth- but it was now time for Rio to return home. He felt.. as if he was not the same wolf he had been when he had left. Instead, a solemn, quiet male had returned in place of the usual smiling and welcoming red-head. He saddened him to really think of it, but it was once again his way of distracting himself- just as he didn’t want to think of her, he didn’t want to think of Tamlin or Raylen and their reaction to him returning home after so long. He feared rejection.
It wasn’t that he feared rejection from his home, no- Bright Moon was his home and had been just as it was for both Tamlin and Raylen. Instead, he feared rejection from his comrades in their friendship and respect, he truly felt like he did not deserve it at all, and ought to be reprimanded for acting so selfishly. But a sudden surprise momentarily distracted Rio- it was Tamlin’s scent, and it was everywhere. The only conclusion he could come to was the fact that Tamlin was now Alpha, and of course it made complete sense. He had been by her side all along, and he had not run away when it all had happened. She must have turned to him just before leaving to dub him the new King, before taking her leave whereas Rio had already left the moment he had found out. In all actuality- Rio had not even said goodbye to her for fear of what he might have done. Break down in front of her? Turn rash and attack her and hurt her in return? But she had not meant to hurt him, no, of course not. She had not meant to cause anyone harm for that matter, but that did not make the pain any less real. The loss of her was like a gaping hole in the wall. You can cover it up with repairs all you’d like- but the foundation of the wall will always remain weak for the rest of its existence. That was just how Rio felt at the moment; weak, worthless, guilty, and shameful. A plethora of negative feelings all combined and mashed into one, and it made him feel physically ill. But of course he continued on and across the border- Bright Moon was after all still his home, before turning his direction toward where Tamlin’s scent was the strongest, before continuing on his way.
Keeping his muzzle down low against the ground, the russet male was easily able to follow Tamlin’s strong trail of cologne and make good time. He had not missed very much, but he knew there were plenty of new members for him to meet. He did not know the name of a single one- save for the male standing above all the others. It was Tamlin, in all his glory which seemed to radiate from him within his new Alpha position. It wasn’t that it was overbearing or obvious or anything off the sort, but it was something Rio could easily sense and it caused his tassel to drop low between his haunches and his muzzle to remain lowered close to the soil. Speaking quietly, he kept his voice within a mellow tone, something that lacked the grace and warm quality of his prior voice. “Hello, Tamlin. It’s been awhile- I see plenty of new faces and that she chose well in her predecessor. I congratulate you, and also ask for forgiveness in my absence. It seems I found myself slightly.. impaired but I apologize again for leaving without a word. I will of course gladly stand by your side if you should need me in any way.”It may have been a tad over the top, but the male wished to really get is point across and hoped that Tamlin would be gracious- he had not seemed the cruel type before but then again one could never be too cautious. Though of course Rio already trusted the male completely to begin with, even before she had chosen him as her replacement, but the fact of the matter simply fueled this anymore. With a light dip of his jaw toward the ground once more, he took several step backs before reclining as well as relaxing slightly on his haunches, but of course observing all around him as well as taking in the plenty of new faces, learning each quickly and efficiently enough.
who'll have mercy on my soul
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