Did i feel better not the truth was out? Ofcourse.. I could never live with myself if i hadn't told my love the truth but i still felt the guilt swell in my gut, that.. Along with the way i had thrown the words out to the atmosphere, some probably not really making sense.. I knew i could have broke the news to Titan softly had i not been so desperate and overcome by the longing to do what was right. I could have sighed with relief, but everything was far too raw to get comfortable and relax. Even though i couldn't bring my mind to ease.. I watched Titan the whole time like a hawk stalking its prey, i noticed the almost relief soak up on his features once i told him it was him i had loved all along. I was glad he believed me, had he not he would probably had reacted differently, so for that i was glad. How desperate i was to know what he was thinking, it would probably show in my tense body language and my longing to keep his gaze fixed on me so no secret could flicker through his emerald lookers without me noticing. It must hard been hard for him to hear me speak so fondly of another, especially when he was such a jealous male. I was unsure how he would react and at times i felt it would be too much for him and he wouldn't e able to hold himself back from causing me harm.. However that thought doesn't last long and i'm quick to dismiss it. Titan would never hurt me, i was sure of it.. Perhaps the guilt i felt was making me believe he had every right to, and if the situation was the other around, i could almost promise it would end in violence, afterall.. I, too.. Was a very jealous girl.

I finally find the courage to step closer to the dark cloaked soldier and my nervous approach must have been obvious. How i longed to be close to him and go back to the days when we could show affection like it was going out of fashion without a care in the world. Yet now, here i was pressing my cheek against his summing up every ounce of love i felt for him in that simple gesture. I grow warm beneath my wolfish cloak and as if we would set ablaze should i lean in closer, i couldn't resist doing so. His crimson facial mingles with my soft shade of toffee's and ivory. Shifting my blunt ended muzzle toward the Kings dark aud i manage to let slip the question i desperately needed an answer to. For months and more.. The question regarding his need to leave and whether it was due to something i had caused tormented me to no end. I found myself repeatedly asking my creator and despite my alert adettes and desperate pleads to know the reason why he left, my answer never came.

The contact between us is broken, Titan himself bringing the gesture to an end no sooner had my lyrics slipped my parted jaws. It was so abrupt and unexpected i feel myself almost stumble due to me putting a reasonable amount of weight on the soldier. He had not stumbled nor had he reacted to my mass against his own so i didn't really realize just how much weight i had set upon him. He always was much stronger than me, dealing with everything in his cool cucumber style that i wish i could have learnt. His emerald gems bore in to my own set of warm browns and i'm reluctant to shift my gaze elsewhere even though i feel guilty for speaking and asking him questions he may take the wrong way. I didn't know what to believe when he left, i did what any female would do and consider the possibility that it was my fault and not his. The silence between us is heavy and depressing but lucky it doesn't last long. Titan pipes up and i give him my full attention when he speaks of my self esteem and how little i think of myself. It was true, long ago i would never put myself down.. I knew there had to be something good about me otherwise Titan wouldn't have looked twice.. But when he left, it contradicted that belief and i was left in a paranoid state lacking self esteem.

I stay silent, refusing to answer his exposure of disapointment. Instead i shift my focus to the ground, not wanting to see the anger in his eyes that would surely match his annoyed tone. I didn't like the way i had been thinking anymore than he did, but if he wanted to get to know me again he needed to understand the issues that needed working on. It feels like forever before he speaks again but when he does i'm finally met with the answer i longed for all along. My chest tightens and the tears threaten to flow freely once again, however this time i did my damn best to keep my emotions in tact. I close my eyes but keep my lobes high intending to devour every syllable to leave the Kings maw. Even though the words he spoke were beautiful and reassuring, his tone was the opposite and i could only sit there and feel like i was being scolded like a pup for the way i thought about myself. It took me back to my puphood momentarily and due to this, i couldn't look at him nor open my eyes, all i was capable of in that frame of mind was staring at the ground while welcoming his harsh tone of voice.

"..I'm sorry.." What was i apologizing for? Well, for whatever i had done that deserved him to speak to me in such a way, ofcourse. Titan is quick to sigh and step forward, his crimson paws eating away at the soil and distance that seperated us, however i'm not so quick to shuffled forward to meet him. Instead i stay where i am and after summing up the courage to open my eyes once more, within seconds i'm lifting them to land on his own jealous set. I see something flicker in his gaze but don't understand what, so i remain silent waiting for him to make the next move. He speaks of oweing me an explaination and goes on to tell me it's a long story and though the invitation to get comfortable was there, i just couldn't. I didn't have a clue what words would soon follow and i was anxious, nervous.. Terrefied of hearing what had earned his attention more than his family. The soldier gestures me a wink and instantly it causes me to shy away, perhaps his charm still had its usual effect on me, bringing warm to my flesh and a wolfish glow to my cheeks.. I didn't want him to have that control over me until i knew what he had to say. After inhaling deep, clearly preparing himself to go over whatever memories he had stored in the attic of his mind.. He begins.

I continue to stand, even though i find his tone sootheing by this point, i still feel too pent up to get comfortable. My muscules are still tense as i stand there prepared for anything and ofcourse due to my paranoid state of mind, i'm expecting it to be bad news. He starts by talking about the challenger and i too find myself rattling the ol' brain box for rememberance. I had recently had our pups and no sooner had we settled in to Aurora as royals was there a rogue canine wanting to steal that right from us. With myself being in no state to fight it was obvious Titan himself would deal with any challenges that rose at the border, however foolish they were. I nod in acknowledgement as he continues and i remember and understand clearly what he is describing. He speaks of being angry and that the challenge had never taken place. It was understandable, one look at Titan could send the most determined canine running for the hills. The challenge may have been powerhungry but he clearly wasn't foolish. I fight back an amused chuckle escaping my throat at the thought of Titan stood there waiting for a battle that would never come. I understand when he speaks of being angry, if a rogue coming to try and claim Titans throne was not enough, they have to chicken out at the last minute. Foolish dogs..

After a moment or two Titan continues, spilling forth his memories letting me recreate them in my own version before my minds eye. He spoke of leaving to hunt and again, i understood and nodded to let him know that. Quarrels Clearing, although i had never strayed along the ashen path nor endured the sight of destruction and chaos, i was well aware that most fights took place at that particular location. The thought of the area made a shiver react down my spinal and i made a mental note to continue to keep my distance from the place. Next he goes on to tell me he wandered a little further than he should.. Guilt lined his features as he expressed his curious and determined nature, something i knew all too well. As he continues, i watch with curious lookers as he squints his vision and stares in to nothingness. His emerald circles stare off in to the distance but instead of seeing the scenic wilderness that was Aurora Borealis, he sees only memories and i can tell he is trying to shuffle them in order. I wait patiently, knowing there is still much to tell and my paranoid state of mind from earlier, the state of mind that had me believing Titan intentionally left because he found something more interesting than his family.. Is overpowered by curiosity and the upcoming feel of guilt that was sure to swell in my chest sooner or later.