I knew that I shouldn’t bring it up to her, but against my better judgment I was going to. My dark eyes gazed at the slate colored filly as she narrowed her eyes in suspicion. I had told her that there was something that I had been keeping from her, something that until now I didn’t want her to know; rather, I didn’t want to deal with the after math of her fury. I tried to calm my nerves as I prepared myself to deal with the pain of my daughter’s sharp tongue, once I let her in on my little secret.

She shifted her weight impatiently, making me feel even more anxious for the outcome of the conversation. I stared into her eyes as they shifted over my ashen face, the distain for me obvious. I knew she hated to be around me, I knew she hated it here in the desert and I knew she hated Eli. She hated everything and I blame myself for causing her to feel that way. I had contemplated many times about coming clean about her father, because it seemed every time we got into an argument now she used her ignorance as ammo, shooting me straight through the heart, knowing it was the one thing that could hurt me the most; although she had no idea why. But to this day, I still hold back the truth as to who her father was and why he wasn’t around, and I will continue to do so possibly until the day I die. I can only imagine how she will act out if she ever learns the complete truth about her father, and I fear she may be worse then she already is.

So no, my secret does not have to do with her father, but it does have to do with our family. I take in a long breath, deciding that I had been hesitating long enough. I closed my eyes, saying a quick prayer to whatever god may hear me, hoping they keep my daughter from blowing up for once in her short life. When my eyes opened again I saw her standing there, her face beginning to show the premature furry, the fuse had already been lit and I had yet to utter a word. I let out a sigh and with it, I finally found the courage to share the little secret I had been keeping from my daughter,

“Eroica…I am pregnant.”

It was almost as if she had become possessed by Satan himself and I half expected her head to spin fully around. She pursed her lips in a vague attempt at holding back her anger, and I immediately shrunk back from her for fear of her explosion. Her body tensed as she looked me in the eye, grown tall enough she practically stood at my own height. I could see the fire burning in her eyes as she spoke between clenched teeth,

“What?!”

I stuttered quickly trying to respond but her anger made me fearful. She contained the same evil that linger in her father and it scared me beyond anything imaginable.

“I…I’m pregnant Eroica. Your father and I—,”

In one fluid motion her teeth came together in front of my face with a loud snap! I recoiled in a few steps, happy to have gotten out of the way of her vicious incisors in time.

“He is not my father you whore! I can’t believe you! How stupid are you? Do you even have a brain at all? You can barely take care of yourself, let alone me, and now you are going to bring another life into this world?! Was this one an accident too? Are you just going to up and leave Eli like you did my father, now too? You got what you wanted so now you can go find you next toy, you slut!”

Tears stung the backs of my eyes as I gazed into the face of my irate daughter. I thought I had prepared myself for this but apparently I hadn’t even come close. I frowned trying to keep my jaw steady as I tried to defend myself with my words.

“I love Eli. I would never leave him, because unlike you, I have a heart!”

My voiced shook with sorrow and frustration, as it bubbled out of throat. I sent my daughter a hard glare and turned my body away from her slowly. I just didn’t understand. How could such a beautiful girl harbor so much hatred?