but her dreams don't come true
She's wished on a million stars
but her stars never fall
Still she's a believer
She can see rainbows
when the sun is out of sight
She can find the moon
even on a cloudy night
She follows hope through the darkness
laughing as she dances away misery
- Lovella Torendo (LT), "always a dreamer"
Aegle as always is a comfort to me with out needing to do anything at all but be there. I lean in to her needing that reassurance now more than ever. That need in the face of two of my dearest friends is not at all right but it is what it is and I can not shake my unwelcome feelings however happy I am to see them again. For a moment Elliot distracts me as he comes near to touch noses with Aegle and I smile down at him awed at how he’d grown. I met him once after his birth and only very briefly but I remember him well… as little and delicate though extremely lively. My mind wanders to wonder if my own child when it is born will develop as quickly and as well as Dante’s son. Aaron, board and slightly irritated with what he sees as my ridiculous, uncharacteristic and completely unwarranted insecurity does not hang back to comfort me. I suppose he assumes I don’t need it with Aegle here. He slinks forward to meet Divina proudly showing off his striking spots in the process. I am grateful for the continued distraction and can not help a smirk when I think that he would not have shown off like this were it Feducia that he was meeting for the first time in his cat shape… but then he’d never wanted to be a wolf and so has no reason to feel jealousy towards Divina. “Hello Divina,” he turns towards the golden monkey then and offers a cat grin of greeting, “hello Dorian, it is good to see you both again.”
I can tell that he is eager to move on to his favorite topic of elements but the distractions can not keep me occupied forever and eventually I do need to meet the warm and protective gaze of Dante himself. The faltering smile I give is not enough to prevent him from being put on edge and I regret that but he handles the situation in stride and while I can tell he is surprised by my request he does not hesitate to grant it, no questions asked. The breath I’d been hold escapes in a faint hiss and my smile warms with relief, “Thank you Dante…” I wasn’t sure what else to say to him in that moment and so I am glad when Adeline steps forward though her words push me back into the uncomfortable zone. I suppose I should have suspect that she would catch on to the unexpected request and assume that there was something more to it then a simple change of heart on my part. In truth my opinion and desires in the matter of homes have not altered in the least. I still prefer the freedom of not having one to the security of having one but my situation has change voluntarily or not and so my choices must change appropriately. I’m not the most responsible of beings but I have a reasonable idea of what is right and fair as well as what is not. Trying to raise this child one my own with out the added protection of a home and herd would not be right or fair to the child.
Still, I find it odd that Adeline has to ask if there is something wrong… obviously there is and the “what” is fairly obvious as well. It doesn’t occur to me that they might have assumed my impossible to hide pregnancy was intended and that perhaps I’d acquired a home along with it. “Um well yes… no… I mean, I’m fine really… it’s just well… I don’t think it would be fair to the foal when it’s born to not have a place to call home…” my uncharacteristic ineloquence trails off to this rather lame explanation but it is the truth and that is all I have to give right now. Of course there is more, monsters that lurk in the shadows but I will not bother them with figments of my imagination if I can help it.
My situation is still a little unsettling, if only because I am not sure I want my friends to know the entire truth about it. If they ask I will not lie but a small, distant part of me hopes deeply that they will not. I turn eyes that are for a second filled with worry and then overflowing with gratitude first upon Adeline and then Dante. It is good to have such friends, good to belong in such a family and in the end that is all that matters now… that I have friends I can turn to in times of trouble friends among whom I feel safe and loved. The taunt muscles in my body begin to relax and as they do I find myself feeling suddenly horribly tired. “Um… if you all don’t mind, I think I’m going to go take a nap…” After giving Aegle’s shoulder another affectionate nudge I stumble off towards the big tree and am asleep almost before I get there.
| axian speech |
| mental speech for both |
| regular speech for both |
Call me KORALYNNE for that is my name. They say my 15.2hh, BLUE ROAN coated, FEMALE person is an eye catching sight. Trust the kindness in my gaze for these THREE short years of life have not taken it away. Recognize my breeding as a mix of AKHAL-TEKE, ARABIAN & MUSTANG. I remember my parents as SHIFT & RABBA of a land far behind me. Connect me with AARON the LEOPARD coated OCELOT MALE axian of skill level 6 my better half and link to the element of AIR in which we are pursuing the LIGHTENING (2/14) tree with --- trees completed. Look for me in --- for it is there I reside. Place me in the court of --- under the title of --- and trace my blood down to Glarthiar [x Schindler] (unborn). My strings are pulled by the beautiful TZARRA who should be credited with both my creation and my words. green*star (a.k.a JAR2431) of Avenion & DA is the painter of my portrait.