K U S H I N A
"No matter how I try to disguise it by painting the walls... the world outside the window is sullen and grey. I've never seen color. But in your living flesh... I can see a red pulse. I want you... your red pulse. That's my one, shameful wish." [craving;; knife]
I feel as if I am a tattered and torn doll within a china cabinet put on display. The sign pointing to myself says, ‘before operation,’ and the oh-so-beatiful results sit around me. Navy blue oceans narrow in frustration, though the expression quickly dissipates. Quiet… I should be seen (and that’s barely at all), but not heard. The white vampire announces something later after acknowledging all the newcomers and already-pack-members. Sparring? Not a hint of expression glimmers past my torso. My feelings are kept to themselves (save for the almost invisible slight swell that my chest takes as I inhale again)- but deep down inside, I’m getting pumped. I could use the practice- and the exercise wouldn’t hurt the torn muscle in my hind… I would just have to hide it a little bit. I’m so into what the glacial demon is sprouting from his jowls lined with ivory daggars that I barely even catch the look that Venga gives me. Is she offering for me to sit by her? Pretending that I have not seen her do this, I keep to myself, looking straightforward like a good student should. It’s nothing personal towards her- I am fleetingly appreciative of her offer- but I bring misfortune to those around me… so it’s best not to get too close to others of my kind.
A male stepps forward and begins chit-chattering to the Pharaoh about some mate of his… My dulled crimson plumage curls around my fores, though up until now I have refused to seat myself. The easier it is to get away from something, the faster your pistons will carry you. No. I have not relaxed at except for a tiny give which was allowed when the monarch gave a little welcome sentence. His reaction towards me though- deciphering what he was thinking was beyond me- which was fine at any rate. I didn’t like to show my emotions, so whatever floated his boat- well then let his ocean keep it above the depths. Another perfume grabs my attention, though I don’t give it enough credit to swivel my dial and look at it. It must be unnatural, to be presented with different customs just because I’m from a totally different area than these fellows here. My bow had been one example- and now my undivided attention towards the regal was another. Two dark seas focused on the arctic soul, examining his every move. What were his weak points? His kindness towards others could lead to his downfall in the end if he didn’t keep it in check… his strong points? Being one of the only males in the arena. What did I care.
Hardly noticing the three arrivals, I stay frozen to the terra, though it is obvious that at any given moment, I can sweep my feet off the earth’s surface and sprint anywhere I’d like. But that didn’t erase the cold fact that I could not escape what I really wish I could. Even now, I can tell that the males who were pursuing me are still in the area. Not here necessarily- they wouldn’t dare do anything that would risk their pride or put a bad mark on their ‘oh I walked into a pack land without asking’ report card. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to verbalize what I’m keeping under lock and key. But that’s why it’s there. Safe and sound. Defying the gravitational pull of the earth, I raise my muddied form off of the terra, looking like a hawk on a mission with the ‘death stare’ I’ve been known for giving others. Honestly, it’s just the way I look. Nevertheless. I’m ready to go.
Princess || Adult || Loner || Loveless
word count: 626
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