 The unfulring of paper caught her attention, pulled her away from the depths of her mind where her memories lingered and towards the kitchen island where blueprints now covered the once empty surface. Her eyes traveled over the blue prints, the idea that they were rebuilding their relationship still heavy in her heart. The symbolism, the metaphor: how could they improve on the foundation that was already laid out for them, that they had built up a few years ago? She saw the various ideas mapped out for them, a modest house from the street view while from the water it was an elaborate piece of artwork, complete with a guest house closer to the water’s edge. For some reason she thought of Beatrice, how she would utilize the separate house for a studio or some lavish retreat complete with a spa. “White sand beaches and lavish resorts? I don’t think I could ever turn that down - not after this past year.” She laughed at her own comment, still caught up in how things had finally come full circle for her. If she let herself dwell on it for too long she often wondered what it all had meant, what the reason for her own demise had been except for some in depth soul searching. “You know me, I’m a sucker for this view and I would love to be able to see more of it from the front of the house. We don’t get many clear days, but when we do I can’t get enough of it. I like these plans, though - the house looks more New England the Pacific Northwest. It’s a good mix of modern and traditional. It’s a nice commentary on us I think.” She mused, hands tracing over the plans. As he reacted to her other questions, her own mind wondering how much she could handle, she felt comforted as he pulled her into his arms. It was a hard concept the swallow, the idea that he would so willingly put himself in harms way. He had just as big of a chance of getting hit by a truck on the way to work as Sasha Belanov putting a hit out for him, or some other person killing him. She should be used to the lifestyle by now, Matt’s job so strikingly similar to Danny’s - yet it was proving to be a difficult pill to swallow. “I’m just making an effort of not keeping anything from you.” She spoke will still being held against his chest, the smell of his cologne mixing with cigarettes filling her with nostalgia. “I have come to peace with your job, for the most part. Seeing it was just different that’s all. I understand your job, what you have to do and that sometimes you can’t control when you do it. I’ll get more used to it with time.” She paused, pulling away from him, offering a genuine smile though storms still clouded over her eyes. “I’m not sure I’ll ever be 100 percent okay with it, but I know this is the life you want, and that I want to be with you. I promised I would fight for this, and we both know it’s not going to be easy. It was just my first taste of your new life and I couldn’t keep what it made me feel from you. Don’t think that this makes me re-think things... It’s just taking some getting used to.” Touching the end of his nose with her finger in a playful manner, she smiled and moved back to the kitchen island where they had abandoned the blue prints. “So, we just need to give them the final decision on what we want and then we go away?” She asked, hopeful that they might be able to get out of the country soon. She didn’t remember the last time she went anymore, let alone any time they had actually planned to get out of the country. They had been so caught up in their life here, in starting something they barely understood let alone appreciated. The new effort in the relationship was a change she welcomed greatly. “And did they give us any sort of idea when things would be finished? If we’re completely abandoning our whole “going slow” idea... And I’m being honest...” She paused, smiling coyly. “I don’t really relish the thought of living in my small flat and you living in your hole in the ground for the next year or so while we wait for this to be rebuilt.” and as the world comes to an end
i’ll be here to hold your hand because your a king and i’m your lion heart |