(( well, that was depressing to write :< ))

It had been many weeks since that fateful day, but it still felt like yesterday. The images were still sharp in her mind, haunting nightmares of faces and flashing teeth. Those cold green eyes stared at her, unblinking and unrelenting. She couldn't sleep, couldn't rest and couldn't remember the last smile she had given. The nights were full of fear and fright, the days were dark and lonely. Andere Seite itself had been mostly empty recently, no sign of the blood and snow alpha, little sign of anyone else in her vast family. She was alone with her dark and frightened thoughts.

Tjikiju lay quietly in a patch of ruffled leaves and yellowed grass. Her mis-matched eyes were downcast, dull and tired. There was a deep sadness to them that had never been there before, replacing the once bright twinkle that was always present in the elders' eyes. Her body was strikingly thin, her fur matted and patchy, dampened by cold sweats and damp bedding. Those deep gashes could still be seen on her left side and her breathing was heavy and laboured from the broken rib. Her leg hadn't even begun to heal properly, splayed out to the side in an effort to avoid pressure or contact.

Tjikiju herself couldn't fathom why the attack had hit her so hard. It was certainly traumatic, but she was a survivor, always had been. The vast amount of scars that covered her body were evidence of that. But perhaps it was the method of the attack and the stone cold viciousness. Most of Ti's scars were caused by prey animals fighting for their lives, few were from other wolves intent on doing her harm. And the pair that had caused her so much pain had evil in their eyes and darkness in their hearts. She had been shocked and broken by their brutality, their disdain for her life and dignity. And how savagely they had raped her.

The old lass gave a small whimper, but showed no other sign of life, laying listless and troubled in her little grassy dip. She didn't think she could feel anything any more, apart from this hollowness inside. She had no energy left to think or take interest in the world. Her mind was elsewhere, in dark nothingness somewhere. She couldn't even drum up the images of her brother that usually brought a happy tear to her eyes. Everytime she tried his face would melt into one of her abusers and she would jerk awake in terror, dragged back to the cold and cruel world of reality.

Raising her head slightly, the old wolf moved with agonizing slowness, pushing herself to weak legs and dirty paws. She wobbled slightly before managing to steady herself, standing with legs apart and head hanging, her tail curled under her hind legs. She looked older than she ever had before, a messy bag of bones and fur. "They not here, no no, safe here, safe but 'lone yes yes. Think I worthless, useless an' weak, yes yes. Selly not even come see, I burden now, yes yes." Her murmuring was half whispered, low and almost feverish in it's intensity.

Taking a few trembling steps forward, Tjikiju kept muttering away to herself, trying to reassure herself at the same time as berating and insulting herself. She only managed a short distance before she had to rest her skinny form against a nearby try, leaning on it's trunk and panting as though she'd run a mile. She was so very hungry, it was the only reason she'd moved, but she had no hope of hunting in her state. At the very least, she still had her sense of smell, and a vague notion that someone, at some point, had buried half a deer hereabouts. She knew she needed to eat, though she hardly had the motivation to do so. It was only natural survival instincts that had got her so far.

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T J I K I J U

sixteenish | female | andere seite | omega | no mate | no pups | ~ morfie