Deserter. It was a word I had never really been familiar with throughout my entire life; that is, not until just recently. Just the mere thought of home, of Bright Moon, brought both pains and aches to my chest. It was as though I had abandoned them, left them to fend on their own.. but I was also confident in Tamlin and his leadership skills and over all technique; just as I trusted my phantom of a brother with every ounce of trust I have left in my core. I knew he would be able to handle things, along with Raylen, our third brother, and yet still I felt that gnawing sense of guilt and disappointment in myself. How could I have just left without a word the way I did? It confounded me, truly. Idly shaking my large, russet jaw from side to side, I gave a physical attempt at clearing my mind, and hopefully; clearing my conscience. It didn’t work. It seemed that no matter what I did, or tried, Bright Moon was always foremost on my mind, and yet still I could not find the courage in my breast to travel back to my home. I did not fear rejected or anger from my brothers, from my family.. it was the disappointment in myself and the guilt in my own actions that kept me at bay. Instead, when I finally had found my way to return to Blossom Forest, I kept away, and made my home, temporarily, perhaps, the wonderful and magnificent mountain at the fringes of the land- Misty Mountain.
Instead of climbing to the highest crags as most wolves found themselves doing, I instead had taken root at the base of the magnificent structure, finding myself a simple dip within the side of the face of the mountain to make my sleeping area, and filling my days with exploring the entire base of the place, as well as to occasionally find my way up to the snowy peaks. Though the land around me had long since thawed and Spring was drawing to its close, if one traveled far enough up the mountain, they could still find themselves within a snow-filled wonderland. Going up there reminded me very much of my birthe pack, Eis, and it had a rather calming affect on my mind. But today was not going to be one of those days, instead, with the sun shining and beating down upon my broad shoulders, I took it upon myself to get a bit of exercise; several long loops of a run through the forest at the base of the mountain, stretching my thick limbs and enjoying the breeze that whipped through my mainly russet pelt. It felt both thrilling and invigorating to feel the adrenaline pumping hot and thick through my veins, and within every limb as my large paws pounded against the soil and foliage that littered the forest. For several long moments; I was even able to lose myself to the point of nothing else being on my mind, save for the satisfaction and pleasure of my senses- even going so far as to allow my elongate tongue to loll out the side of my jaw, an expression of pure joy and happiness sure to be obvious and bright across my maw. How lovely it felt to be young again; so young, and so very full of life.
who'll have mercy on my soul
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