It was time. Two winters had passed, and Andromeda had seen others venture past the outer rim and into the old world. The blackened fem watched from the shadows, her mind in a numb haze of endless days and nights. She had made a temporary home in a pathetic patch of brush and dirt, and it would never compare to the salty air, the endless yet gentle lap of the ocean on the earth. It was her first home away from a personal hell, and it seemed the stars above did not approve. No, they did approve of her leaving. She remembered the threats that were held against her before she came to Moladion, how the gods would punish her for abandoning her birth right, abandoning her kin. They were right. Right when she was starting to find happiness among the ranks of Litherum, the gods took it away, and blood was shed in the process.
She went back.She went back to her old home land, though she was but a ghost. She was only eyes watching from afar, seeing that her disappearance made little difference. She did not belong there, and she felt almost insane for trying to go back. It was but another punishment, fate laughing at her, telling her that not even hell had a place for her. She was stuck in a void, between her birth home and her home taken in flames.
Today she would see it. She would look at it with her own two yellow eyes. The blackened beauty lifted to her paws, dust and dirt covering her coat, but she shakes it off before moving along. One step at a time. Step after step. She could feel her heart begin to pump harder, she could feel the blood moving her still living form. The images around her seemed to flow together, her stare vacant. She did not take in the view of the grass spread before her. Her mind was within itself as she dragged forward.
They were on her mind, they swirled inside of her as images and feelings, confusion and heart break. With each step forward towards the old world, old memories tortured her. She tried her best to keep it out, for her own sanity but in this moment she knew it would over taker her. She could feel her body tense up, emotion pooling inside of her though she tried to fight it, she knew it was going to happen before even coming here. Black paws, shy on their power from her drop in eating habits, step upon a small patch of sand like dirt and she freezes, fur standing on edge, teeth clenching as she felt the world disappear around her as she was transported into her own world, her own memories. Rosco. When she heard that they had to leave, it was he she first went to. Rosco would need help. He knew his way around Litherum but everything else was foreign to him. She knew she had to help, she had to do whatever she could. His scent fills her nostrils as she runs to him, his father Desoto not far off. She remembers touching him to let him know where she was. She remembers it so clearly, the temperature in the air, the direction of the wind. She said she would be there for him on the way, be there with his father. Desoto, her stayed by his side. Andromeda was to scout ahead for the best paths for Rosco to take, with the least resistance for him to get past. She remembers the last touch she gave him, muzzle to muzzle, a small but kind lick given...and she even remember his taste. Andromeda didn't say goodbye. She knew they would make it. Desoto would guide him, and she would guide them.
It took longer for her than for others. Andromeda had to do her best to avoid thickets and particularly rocky places. She tried to find paths used by wolves before. She would howl to let them know where she was going, though her scent was always a guide. She had traveled quite far ahead of them, they were unseen but she still howled for them. She had found the best paths. She knew they would make it. It would only be a matter of time for them to meet up again. The images in Andromeda's mind flashed, she was atop a ridge, it would be the hardest part for them she knew. She took a small moment, one small sliver in time to look back. Her yellow eyes, seeing for the last time father and son, from oh so far away. She could hardly tell it was them, but she knew. She lifted her head one last time, to howl to them the path, to let them know they were close before going down the other side of the ridge, paws moving step by step , down further and further, she couldn't see them if she wanted to with earth in the way, but she had to scout ahead. Her muscles burned and her mind was quick, but she could do nothing else to help him.
It was the high ridge that had spared Andromeda. She had made it, just past the point of destruction. Just enough. She heard the thunderous noise, though thunderous really did it no justice. It was the sound of death, the sound of hard space against earth. She did not look back. Instinct took over. She ran. She ran faster than she ever ran before. Panic had engulfed her and there was nothing she could do but run, run to survive, run to live for if Rosco did not live, she would have to live for him. she had to battle her heart to turn and look, to see if they were okay, to run back and drag him by the scruff if she had to. But her paws moved forward, stride by stride. Rosco, oh Rosco.
It was then Andromeda came back into her body, back into reality instead of her distorted memory but she felt as if she was living that moment all over again, her muscles on fire and her heart in pure agony knowing that he did not make it, knowing she had failed him and that he and Desoto died. She felt as if she could burst from her very seams, that her own gut ripping sadness would tear her apart right then. She swore that gravity was turning in on itself as her paws fumbled, nothing making sense anymore in this abstract world of darkness and pain, body falling apart and ripping, she could feel the hard earth but she knew not where she was...she knew not that she had been running this whole time, her eyes closed, blind just as Rosco was. She knew not that she had tripped and fallen on the edge of the crater, and though she knew now she needed to open her eyes...she didn't. She refused. She needed to learn his pain.
The black girl tumbled, tumbled down, body scraping against rock as she fell into the remnants of the destruction. It hurt. This dark and twisted world hurt as it tore her apart. She was lucky though, that she did not tumble on a particularly steep area, but one that ended abruptly so she did not sustain much injury. Just some scrapes and bruises to the body, but it was her soul that was damaged, seemingly beyond repair. She felt her body slide to a stop. She only felt it, her nose only smelled the smell of lifeless dirt. The strange sounds of herself battling rock faded and she was left with nothing but a ring in her ears as her mind tried to process it all, all with her eyes hidden behind their blackened veil.
It seemed like an eternity. An eternity in a dull pain, dull ring, dull blackness. She knew not how long she laid there, she knew not if she fell unconscious, if she slept or if she just lay there with her eyes closed. But soon she felt her heart beating, not that it ever stopped, but she felt it again. The soft sound of air dancing around her dispelled the numbing ring, but it was the song birds in the distance that brought her to. The sweet sound of spring, of life surrounded her, though it was not enough to heal her wounded soul, it was enough for her to acknowledge, to know she was given what he did not have. She had experienced the pain and suffering in his world, in his last moments but she needed to live in her own. Her yellow eyes, they slowly started to open, she was in the shadow of the crater and yet it seemed so bright, so blinding. Everything was a blur and she wondered if she was alive or in some sort of purgatory...but she felt her lungs fill with air and she knew she was still on the dusty earth. She blinked and the world came into focus, the sharpness of her injuries cutting in as the coldness of the real world settled in nice and cozy. She was content to lie still for now. It will be a while before she could gather herself and move on again. |