It has been rather a long time since I have found myself coated in the blood of another and longer still since I have been to encased within my own aggression to care about the life force of another coagulating within my perfect fur. Chest and sides heaved with the effort of so much energy used so quickly, violet gaze hard and cold as lilac shaded ice as the white male fell lifelessly from my jaws to crumple to the floor. Neither male had been skilled, neither had been more than a thug, a lowly commoner who understood how to use his weight, though by no means in an advantageous way and indeed perhaps I had acted too harshly, to violently and yet it is who I am. I am possessive over what is mine, I am protective and aggressive by nature. I am arrogant and vain and temperamental and I make no apologies. I judged them unworthy to live and Fate agreed. It was over, it was done, yet my heckles remained raised, lips peeled back from bloodstained fangs as a growl twisted and turned with savage ferocity within my chest, a growl I couldn’t stop. It was always the same, always the same when I became angry, when I tasted blood. I can’t turn off, I can’t shut it down until the adrenaline stops and indeed until it does I cannot draw my eyes to Zen. It is always the same, a drug, a high, it is the result of so many years killing things.

I had almost killed a child the night I had killed Apollymi, the girl had come across me as I washed my pelt clean in the rivers of Paracon. I hadn’t meant to do as I did, I couldn’t stop myself, she surprised me and I reacted. She lived, only because of Eris and I do not wish the same to happen to Zen. She should not see me in this manner and she will not. I turned away from the black female she as she rested against a tree, stepping over blood and bodies, striding forward, turning, pacing, walking back and forth until I began to wear a path into the dirt, releasing the energy that still sung and curled within my veins. Stop. Breathe. Stop. It’s finished. I would not hurt Zen and yet I did not trust myself in these moments. I did not trust myself to be near her, not until I was.....calm. It took some time indeed and yet, slowly, slowly my heckles lay flat, my claws tore less savagely at the earth and my pace slowed, mind returning through the thick haze of bloodlust until it was that I could turn the violet of my gaze onto her own. I paused in that moment, paws finally sliding to a stop as my blood-stained form angled towards her own.

I would have gone to her, touched her, assessed her and assured myself she was well, yet I have no desire to allow a lady to see the state of my pelt, such things are not for the eyes of a healer to witness. No, I stayed within the shadows a few paces away, gaze lingering upon her.

“Zen?”

I spoke softly, lightly, a question within my voice as I waited until her attention returned to my own.

“Are you hurt? I would come to you but I am not....presentable.”

h e y e l
The King