I do not lay in this position for long. In fact, it is only a few seconds until my ears twitch and perk, my face lifting as sounds, beautiful sounds come to my ears. Was it true? Was the pink-eyed girl going to fall to death? Was my efforts to wait for her to die not in vain? I cannot help but get excited, my body tense and starting to shake as my tail begins to wag in the dirt. I must go investigate, it may not be her but it must. My right ear isn't all that good, I cannot be for certain it was her because of my own body's weakness. I would have to go in the direction of the noise, and see for myself.
I jump up onto my legs, head low as I scurry to the sound. I can feel my heart pumping and my breathing escalate. I so desperately wish to look at those eyes, the eyes I saw from the shadows and decided to stalk, instead of searching for the dead with my precious little nose. I was not that far off, and with my happy run I made it there quick, my own golden eyes catching the white boy move his jaws away from her throat. I just barely hear his words to her and I do not understand why he says them, but I can tell that she is on the verge of death, and this boy must have caused it. I feel an electricity run through my fur as I lick my lips. i could only wish to kill something like he just did. He gets to look at all the eyes and fur, bones and innards he wants if he can kill. I am a dainty girl, light and airy though stenches with death, it is the death of small things, birds, bugs, rabbits, mice. I cannot help but feel a little jealous, envious of the white boy and his ability. Obviously the white pelt was superior. It has just come to me. My second mother Jaidah, kills with ease, and I enjoy watching her from a distance. She even shares what she does not want with me. Yes, she is graced in the white pelt and this boy is too. This boy just killed, and killed with apparent ease though I did not get to see it with my own eyes...as long as he does not wish to harm me as he did her, I could follow and watch him too. I look down at my black paws, a strange conflict arising within me. I had wanted a black pelt, like mothers for so long, but it seems...it seems that I should be white all along.
You see, I am a determined girl. I want what I want though I do not know how to get it. I wish for the beak of a crow instead of my wolf muzzle, I want bones to line my back, I want skulls to hang off my ears and feathers to line my chest. I change my mind constantly, I could be so many things, and there were so many options. That is why I love death, I NEED death, it lets me examine carefully, if I memorize I might be able to change myself. Some say I am crazy, but I am not. I know I will do it, and I have seen it done before.
I blink as I tilt my head, like a crow inspecting the grass looking for insect prey. I remained a yard or two away as I watch, the white boy standing over the black girl that I had stalked. I tilt my head the other way, blinking again as I lower my body close to the ground. I am oh so curious but I know he is indeed a killer, he could do the same to me just as Jaidah could. Jaidah has grown to accept me over the past two years, and my stalking and lingering in the shadows and bushes. This boy, he would need to get used to me first. But he will. He will get used to me lingering about, inspecting his kills when he leaves them behind, and he will let me take the unwanted remains back to my den, my brand new den in Iromar. Yes, I have already determined I will follow him.
"I wished her dead, I did. I wished it. Did you hear my wish? I want her eyes," I said, andI whine slightly afterwards, tilting my head once again as my eyes stare at the black girl as the life left her. I sit on my haunches, my head low and my expression undaunted. I was not afraid of him, and I did not show fear. I was happy for her death and it showed by my tail wagging slightly behind me, but my face, it shows little but curiosity and longing, longing for those pink eyes. It was his kill though. It was his choice if he gave them to me or not. I could only sit and wait, or run if he decided to come after me too.
Three Years - Loved by None - Protected by None |