Those eyes, those deep brown see right through me eyes, they draw my breath from me. They take it away as I feel whatever it is that draws us together creep about my neck like some serpentine villain. Jade meet the earthy depths of his gaze, never wavering as my head tilts to the side, studying the smaller wolf before me. I hesitate, the hunger constantly burning in my soul at once quieted by his shadow, comforted by the closeness of his body. Had I known, had I only known this was what it could feel like to truly imprint, to have but a fraction of what I know he feels within my own worn and weary soul, I would have bolted in the other direction. He speaks, answering my question with an eloquence few wolves possess. I must admit I am flattered, even if my heart beat in my chest reminds me of what he is doing. Emotion -thick, cloying, and smothering- threatens to overwhelm me as he speaks, and for that one split second as my eyes narrow on him, I feel true loathing for such paltry things as feelings. I do not feel! I wish to rage at him, to cast him from the ledge and be done with this nasty business of feeling. I have closed my heart forever to love. It hurts in the end, and it always ends.
Loosing the only litter I had truly tried to care for, loosing the only wolf who had ever captured my whole heart, the male I stayed faithful to when I couldn't even give that honor to Demetri, when a friend stabbed me in the back, when I was usurped by my second in command, when I had my mother killed, when I hunted and feasted with Atreyu and Cobryn had all killed my ability to love. Monsters do not love, I am a monster, and I will only destroy the male before me. I growl, the sound low and threatening as my rage and indignation rise like bile from my soul. How dare he speak so softly of me, how dare he try and make me feel flattery, "I am no mercy, Iblis." I draw his name out, hissing the last syllable through clenched fangs as I stare at him. Something hard, cold, and inflexible grips at my chest as I step forward, hackles raised and head down, motions halting suddenly. It HURTS to think of harming him. I feel as if I have just been ripped apart by the fangs of Fate and set on this wholly new path toward the light. Too bad my eyes have adjusted to the darkness. "I am Jaidah, mother of the lost. I have no soul, so if you wish to replace it, good luck. I have no heart, Fate has eaten it way. I do not wish to feel, because all I know is pain and suffering, you bestow on me the curse of kind heartedness, in my world this is weakness. I do not grant freedom, I imprison, and you...Imprint, are going to be my first."
I smile, cold, deadly, wicked. Striding forward, I rub my bodice against his, swiping my tail beneath his chin as I move back to home, back to the mist covered swamps of Iromar. It was a beckoning, telling him to follow by ensnaring him in sensation, pelts mixing seductively as I move against him, swaying my hips as I walked away, looking back over my shoulder to ensure he was following.
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