I had never expected to find love, never expected to know what that feather soft touch could be like. In hind sight, I would have stayed away from Paracon and Devil had I known it would challenge my beliefs so much. Had I known I would be put through this trial, I would never have stepped on those borders to his home. I suppose this is why Fate does not gift her followers with foresight. We are meant as playthings for a cruel god, puppets made to withstand the fires burning in our souls. I would never have tested myself this way, but after all of the healing is done, after the storm calms and I can breathe again, I am sure I will be better for it. I have carried anger and loathing around for far too long, these lungs have sung this song for too long. And while I hurt too, I know it rips him apart to feel this way. The heart is a fickle thing, this much is true, and while I am a woman scorned and burned at the stake, I know his is a tortured existence. I wish he had never met me, I wouldn't have complicated his life so much. A strange thought occurs to me, and I make sure to keep my face happy as we play, his teeth firmly in my ruff as I laugh, nipping at his chest gently, even as he shakes me.

What if I am the reason they are together?

"Devil? " I venture, coming to a new branch in the problem tree. I do not let this new development in my recovery get in the way of the game. I don't want it to, and so it will not. I watch him, smiling, mock charging him a few times to see if he would run in a different direction. When he darts to the side, I find my motions mirror his, moving with him as if I were an extension of him. I pounce quickly, leaping at him in hopes of catching his ear in my mouth, gently tugging again and nipping down his neck to grab the loose skin there and pulling, hoping to drag him off his feet. I do not wait for his reply to the way I called his name, I will not pause. The question I am about to ask, needs him to be off guard. I do not want my feelings spared anymore. I love him, and so I am setting him free. I just need to know if my showing up was a catalyst for their relationship. If so, then my goal as an imprint, to see my other half happy, is accomplished and I can have a whole new outlook on this.

And i hold on to what got, for as long as i can
And now it's fallen apart in my hand
And it's so hard to understand
It seems like you're here with me
I just wanna see you again