I DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING
He wants to change how he is, what he feels about family even as it hurts him. Yet it's probably true that he could never let it go and be different in that way. He might always be the type of creature that thrives on family; having them around and doting on them. It is so deeply imbedded into who he is, and all the pain wasn't going to scrub that out easily. There had been so many incidents, so many problems over the years because of family and he'd still tried. Over and over again he had, and Cobryn can't be sure he really got anywhere with it. Because he cared so much and wanted it so badly... he was cursed to have broken families and children that turned against him. If he didn't care so much, maybe it wouldn't be that way. How many fathers did not try as he did and still got the kind of relationship that Cobryn wish to have with his own flesh and blood? How was any of that fair? But he was done trying to understand why. He no longer wanted to get to that point. He wasn't wanting to even try anymore.

Part of him wants to fix things with Risk somehow, but he feels that there is no way to do that. He feels that no matter what, Risk will alway blame him, find ways to hurt him for all the limitations that Cobryn had back when his son was younger. He knows that Mockingbird will never forgive him, and Cobryn can't find it in himself to want to try with that one. Not after being attacked. Cobryn hadn't the will to fight back. He had let Mockingbird do as he wished, and he'd been left there to die after it happened. Now Cobryn just wants to avoid the male, because he still would not be able to fight back if again attacked. How could he do such a thing? How would he forgive himself for hurting his own son like that? So whenever he picked up the strange, far too neutral scent of Mockingbird, he got as far away from it as he could. But it's been a long time since he's noticed it. Perhaps Mockingbird had finally moved on once more. Cobryn could hope.

He wouldn't know how to react if he knew about Covet and the things that son did. Back when the boy was a young pup he'd seen the lure of blood and it's effects on Covet, but Cobryn had put a stop to such behaviour becoming a habit. Or, at least he thought he had. And he continued to think it, to think that Covet had listened. Because Cobryn couldn't bear the thought that it was any other way. Jumanji... was there hope for that? For a child raised by Jaidah like that? Cobryn wasn't sure he could hold onto hope for that. He feared he'd only be let down, disappointed. He doesn't want to know. There are so very many things that Cobryn would rather not know. He feels he's better off this way. It could be true. It could be much worse to know what was really happening. A piece of the reason that he had stayed so deep within himself for so long. But he had to break out of that. He needed to be better, because otherwise the other choice would be to finally let go altogether. There were two paths, and he knew which one he had to take. Which one he was going to take.

Enigma's smile lifts his spirits more, and he is glad that his words bring the expression. He has been all too lax in making sure she knows how he feels about her, and Cobryn knows he must fix that. She needs to know how he feels; how committed he is to her. More then anything, he wanted her happy. Even if he couldn't be, even if it killed him. She was the light in his life, and without her all would be bleak. Cobryn has realized that if there is any feeling close to what he's heard an imprint feels like, he feels that this is close to that. He knows that he would do nearly anything for her, and the only things he wouldn't do, Enigma would never ask. When Sulan speaks of what it took to join, Cobryn looked pleased. Enigma knew well his stance on peace and what he'd done before to have it. They weren't always easy choices, but he felt they were the right ones. So when Enigma looks to him, he nods and smiles a little. Then with her words given, it was his turn. "What you ask, what you are doing for this pack are things I believe in. You have my word as well." He responded evenly. He pressed slightly closer to Enigma. A new pack, but Cobryn no longer had the urge to wander anymore. He wanted stability now.

YOU'LL ONLY DIE A DREAM FORGOTTEN
ELEVEN | MALE | ENIGMA'S | IMPRINTLESS | GLORALLIAN