I...I had run into something and I swing my silver and charcoal face around to see with my one good golden orb. I already knew though. I felt a flash of electricity swim through the very core of...my being the moment that my body came in contact with hers. It was like nothing before. It was comforting and filling, not like the void and cold life i lived everyday. It was only a moment of touch and yet it felt like a lifetime. I don't know how to take it though. She leaves my touch, an unintended touch that should have never been to being with, and I feel shattered almost instantly. I am back to the world being an icy burn on my paws and I feel forst numb my insides again. I feel almost as if fate was a cruel mistress, she had tempted me with something I had never had before, and now she will just dangle this....this girl in front of me for the rest of my existence, knowing I could never be good enough for anyone such as her, with her eyes of the setting sun on a cold fall evening.

I still feel my breathing going wild. I still feel the emptiness so much more, so much more dark and lacking of anything tangible knowing it was once filled...years ago before my birth it seemed but it is just moments ago that I touched her. I gulped for air as my golden orb landed on the girl, I see her and I...feel a bit better. In my panic for breath I inhale her scent and it is like heaven, like when I am a show in the forest. I want to drink her up like I do the liquid of water, so cool in the hidden shadows of streams that crawl among the dirt of the earth. But...I am not worthy. I turn my eye away from her, my legs began to shake and I feel so...utterly useless in this moment.

Yet she doesn't run, she doesn't hide and she doesn't...attack me. She instead, go down to her belly and crawls towards me as I see out of the corner of my eye. What is she doing? It makes no sense to me. She should be running away from my ugly face or ripping it apart more like my sister does. Normally, I would feel inclined to step back among the roots away from a crawling girl but instead I am...content to stay here, for she... she comes closer to me like no one else would.

And then a sweet melody dances to my wars, a song sweeter than any chirp from a bird or any song ever sung in the dim light of the moon. It was her voice, her voice that made me melt and meld with the world around me and I am in shock when I hear it. Her words sink into me like quicksand and I do what she says, I slow my breathing to a calm and steady beat like that of a heart.

Her words are firm and yet so beautiful on this day, a day so different than all the other days, for it is the day I learned of something other than my hallow existence. She demands and her demanding words are commands, gentle commands that soothe my soul and give me purpose. I, however, seem to ultimately fail, as I seem destined to do. I gulp again as my body still remains small in terms of myself. I don't know and all I know is that I fail her. I fail her and it overcomes me like a tidal wave, clashing with my whole being and I feel crushed, and like I am drowning. My mouth quivers as I try to get something out, but I am unable to. I am stuck in time knowing that I did not know what she needed to know, what she commanded to know and demanded to know and for some reason it matters with her. It matters more than anything and it hurts just the same because I am not good enough.

Before I can speak, because I already have trouble with that, she speaks again asking if her face is the problem, and I am shocked she would even think such a thing. I instantly, desperately shook my head no, no she was not the problem it was me, it was always me from birth. The meat of my tongue feels so heavy. Much heavier than usual and so...dry, dry like sandpaper and I can just stand her shaking like an idiot, my golden orb looking in the distance and at the ground. i must...say something. My tongue tries and tries, my mouth opening and closing in some terrible attempts at words and I find myself getting frustrated. Every moment I just fail her more. I end up growling softly at myself, my one good golden orb closing hard in frustration. I suddenly, so suddenly manage to spit something out.

"No....Your face....pret....t..y...." I say in a stutter before quickly changing the subject, I feel more guilt for failing her more than anything else. "You...I failing. I...is not knowing..."I say, my voice getting deeper with age and yet despite how low and manly it may be, my language skills are beyond terrible and I know I sound stupid. I sigh and take a step back, tripping on another root and falling to my butt. This just..isn't working for me.
Three Years - Loved by None - Following Everchime