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You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
We've been dreaming but who can deny
It's the best way of living between the truth and the lies
Won't you believe all the things I see in you
See through my eyes
Won't you believe
Tears falling down again
Expectations are something to give or take. Throughout my life, I had put it onto myself to distance myself from the rest, to show this world what a real shadow looks like. Not the kind that stalks the corner of your vision, no the kind that was never seen and never heard. Yet here I am now, pulled out of the shadows only by the force of my beloved, she had made it my role in life to show my face and myself without pulling back behind any of my barriers. There were so many points in my life where the thoughts whispered around in my head that I was meant to be alone and miserable, of how I can be of any worth when I am so ordinary and weak, that they can’t see past the mental and emotional scars and beyond what others labeled a pretty surface cover to a disaster. So many thoughts tossed around, and yet there is a single expectation. You may have think that you have handled chaos, maybe even think you have mastered your own inner demons, but you haven’t seen anything yet. I am the biggest drama magnet you will ever lay eyes on. Have I scared you off yet?
I lost count of the amount of wolves that have tried to control me since I’ve been born. Countless wolves taking their turns to give taming me their best shots, and not to mention others trying to hold some kind of power over me. One after the other until I really didn’t start caring one way or the other. It’s like I ha gained power since then, I didn’t listen or obey the cursed wolves who tried to control my very soul, and yet they still can’t seem to help themselves. Almost like it’s a game. It’s one that I refuse to lose, because I’ve had my fair share of failures and this will not be another. Over and over again, rinse and repeat. Looking at my sleek ebony coat you really wouldn’t see all of this, the drama and the hurt, the things that made up my life. How tricky walking in my shoes can be, how many times I’ve just wanted to fall to my knees and scream, and just…die and never come back. I suppose such a thought is foolish and it really is, but well it is what it is, and you make do with what you’ve got, and I’m perfectly fine with what I have now, it’s the best I’ve ever had, and I care about living now, because I have exactly what I want.
This new place will be interesting, there is no doubt in that fact. It’s a new place, one that I made sure my enemies could not tail me to, and there’s sure to be new faces and new games. Although my heart, my beloved, she came along with. I couldn’t have left her behind, nobody else could replace her, and even the thought of trying made me want to cry, made my heart pulse in fear and pain.
s e n s e . t h e . i l l u s i o n
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