IP: 12.231.36.2
Posted on May 23, 2013 at 03:22:52 AM by Enigma
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It's hard to believe that we've come this far. I still remember the first time I met Cobryn in Judila. I was attracted to him from the beginning but at first, it was superficial. He looked so beautiful to me, almost god-like and his features were so impassive, so animated and yet so so reserved. He reminded me of myself back when emotions were seen as weakness. I was gone from the beginning. And when he spoke, it was like pure ecstasy. His voice moved me in ways I never thought possible, even when he held his tongue to let Apollymi speak for him at that pack meeting. I never really forgave her for that, for leashing him like her pet, for controlling him from the start. But he got out of it. Who knows what would have happened if Heyel never snuck into Judila and killed her. Would Cobryn still be that caged creature? I don't even want to think about that. He's here, and finally mine. Finally free to do as he wants, no matter what he thinks. He's not perfect, this, I know. But for me, he's as perfect as it gets. He was always out of my league, too good for me and somehow I did something right and earned his love. Sometimes, it still feels like a dream. He's got such a good heart, no matter if he can't see it sometimes. He's done some messed up shit but in the end, he always pulls through. I wouldn't say what he felt for Jaidah was wrong. No, it was a different kind of love, I think, but a love none the less. She asked him to do messed up shit, but he never lost his conscious. He knew it was wrong and he felt guilty for it. I would never damn him for what he's done in his past; I hope he knows that. None of that matters anymore, just the present. I know he's given up a lot and he thinks a lot is lost to him. Like family. Family makes up so much that is him and yet I don't know if I'll ever get him to want that again. His children don't understand and so they blame him for it and he can never forgive himself while he feels their hate. If I never bear him children, it won't be the end of the world, but I will admit to being disappointed. I lost my chance to be a mother so long ago and now time is slowly slipping away from me. Cobryn is the best thing that ever happened to me and I don't want this to end with us. I want us to continue on in our children. But will he want the same? Winter is only a season away now. My skin tingles at the thought of those raging hormones and being so close to the wolf I love. In the previous years, I've kept my distance, put up just enough of those walls to hold back the urges to let him know what I want. Him. It's always been him. I will admit, I don't feel the urge to go out and get an imprint like I used to. I did it because I was lonely, because I was broken after losing Cobryn the first time and I had no one. Edge was my temporary fix from the broken heart I couldn't see or acknowledge because I didn't know I could feel what I feel now. I'm not imprinted but I'm not lost either. Cobryn is my savior, my cure. I can only hope he feels the same. He smiles at my confession, something new flickering in those beautiful eyes. Longing? It's been so long since I've seen it that it's hard to know if it's real. Suddenly I feel like I can do anything. I look into his eyes, wanting so much and yet all of it has to do with him. Sighing, I pull away a little reluctantly and glance back at my tail. It hurts but it's only a dull throb now. "When my tail is better....would you go to the open lands with me? It might do us good to get away from Glorall, get some fresh air for a change of pace." I look back at him, my lips twitching, the hint of a mischievous smile. My eyes gleam brighter than they have in years. I'm starting to get the old Cobryn back and it rejuvenates me like the fountain of youth. There's so much I'd still like to do with him, to him, and I suddenly want to do it all, but there's always something in the way. My tail will keep me from those things so first I have to focus on healing. But you'd better believe that the next time he goes out to hunt, I'm re-breaking the bitch so it sets right. I will NOT be the wolf with the crooked tail. I'm not vain, but i do care somewhat about my looks. Besides, with someone as perfect as him, how can I not strive for perfection, myself? I want him to want me...always. Is that too much to ask? |
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