I sit with my form pressed against my mothers. I had heard her muffled growl at my approach, and really it had been so long since I had seen her. This is the first time she had seen me since my sister ripped apart my face and neck. She knew not what he own daughter did, to a boy so innocent of any crimes or offences. I figure that must be the reason for her growls, she knew not and likely wondered what caused me harm. But her growls quickly ceased as my form came to hers. She buried her muzzle into my pelt, black on white, but I do not return the same...gesture. It is not my way. I will sit here and let her lean against me, but I do not need comfort myself. I am here for her, when she could not be there for me. I am not one for affection, I am one for the shadows.

There is silence between us, but the world itself is not silent. It never is. I can always hear the whispering of the trees behind me. They speak in the most subtle of manners, their leaves hitting together to sound a melody that tells more than many bother to hear. It tells of the wind and where it blows, it tells of the other creatures scurrying about all around us. The earth is teeming with life that cannot be stopped, cannot be hindered if only by the sky itself, the deities above or some fantastic something that can destroy all in the blink of an eye. But wolves, wolves and their arrogance, they cannot destroy, and they are truly powerless in their endeavors of destruction and control. This silence between us is only temporary. I know it is she who would break it.

Her voice is soft upon my ears, as she calls me her boy. I haven't seen her in about a year. I honestly don't remember anymore. She is, however, my mother, once the Queen of Iromar, now a broken white female before me. I can see how one changes so much in time, and I wonder if things would be different if I were around. Yet, it would not be wise for me to be around her, when her other children show their fangs to me and wish me dead. She apologizes though, for the wrongs done to me. So much was out of her control, yet some of it was. She knew not of the evils her first born children had. She was blind to their rage towards me, though I am sure she knew they dislikes me. They never played with me as a pup, never looked my way without a glare or showing their fangs. I never thought they would resort to actually using their fangs upon me. I will not cover for them though. I will not lie. I may have avoided them, and I may not have run to mother when it all happened. But she is here for me now. She is here for she feels the need to make up for my past. I felt it in her cries as she called my name. No, I cannot allow her to be blind from the truth. She needs to know she is not the reason why I left. I am safe here, in Diveen. They dare not step foot in a land such as this. Some may call me coward for telling my mother, but there is more cowardice in attacking a sleeping puppy. I pull back slightly from my mother, my ears flickering slightly as I think of the words.

"Mother, I can no go back. Caligula..." I say with strain in my voice, turning my head away in shame. I know she will not want to hear this, but I cannot hide it any longer. I want my mother to care about me. I do want to be favored, I do not want to be special. I just want to be a part of the family that I was never allowed to be a part of...and such things can never be fixed if the truth isn't told. I took in a breath, closing my one golden eye, before opening slowly to look back at her, my broken mother.

"I sleep, then wake up, My eye, she took, my neck, she rip. I leave, for I not wanted there. I...was never wanted...Safe, my friend keep my safe here. He helps me. He protect me, because you cannot...she your daughter, you not want to hurt her, so I leave, so everyone can be happy...It okay mother, I okay..." I say, hoping that I do not blather on. I sometimes do not know if I am talking right, if I am saying things in an understandable way. It stresses me out. I do, however, only look at my mother for a moment longer before I turn my head away. I did leave, for myself and for my family. It was for the best for me to leave. Azrael offered me a home and to teach me. My words are better now. I get less frustrated trying to get what I want across. I am still not so good at it though, and I know this. I can tell I don't speak like everyone else, but it is so hard when my mind doesn't work like theirs.

I feel somewhat...nervous telling my mother these things. Will she be mad at me? Will she hate me for telling her these things? I do not know. I fear she will think I am lying. I have never lied though, not once in my life. She doesn't know that though. I was gone for so long. It has been a year, a year of my puphood she wasn't involved in. Yet she never came to visit me, never came to see me. Father came, I know that father loves me but father also attacked. I don't know what mother has been doing, and she knows nothing of me. I just sit here, my body grown now taller than hers. I am at her mercy, whatever she wishes for now. I somehow expect things will not change, that she will leave soon and I will only see her again if she crumbles like this in the future. I will be her emotional support when she needs it, and nothing more. I will watch her from the shadows, I will, just as I will watch the girl from Glorall.
Three Years - Loved by None - Following Everchime