It's nothing but sorrow these days, as I watch my life pass me by second by second. Almost like I'm outside my own body and viewing the events through unbiased eyes. Like I'm not a part of my own body and I can only watch things as they happen without being able to do anything about it. It's really kind of sad you know, watching my life fall apart like this. On the other paw, I'm not really watching it. I'm living it and that's why it's got to come to an end.

I can feel the wind breezing through my silken fur, and I feel like the season itself is somehow embracing me. Caressing my inky black locks of fur, it's almost soothing and I let out a sigh. Small, natural comforts won't help me feel better this time. Too much has happened. What I need to do is start to help myself. The things that have happened, I can never speak about them. Nobody can ever know what happened. But... I must also let others help me, not push them away as I have become accustomed to doing. A heavy sigh leaves my lips, I lift my head so that my soft violet eyes can fall upon my surroundings. I've lost someone very close to me. Someone that cannot be replaced. But..,. I cannot be in that world any longer and there's nothing to be done about it.

I refused to succumb to the pain. Even if the pain in my heart is bordering on unbearable. There's a part of me that wants to crumble to pieces and die. To let it all go and just fall apart into something unfixable. My right ear, the shredded one, swivels at a noise in the distance. Knowing the fact that I was needed somewhere was what was keeping me going. I will stay strong until it's no longer possible, until my legs give out from under me and my eyes can no longer see.

I shake my obsidian black coat as I start forward from my falling apart den with a new purpose and conviction, my lips pulled back in the beginnings of a soft smile. The light collected in my soft violet eyes, giving the crimson bands that overtook my pupils a seeming "flare" of color. Who wants to befriend the scarred stranger? Who will be there when I need them the most? Maybe a silly thing to some, but right now I need it more than an anything. Someone to be close to, to confide in. Somebody that I can trust. I stop in my tracks and realize what I have just thought. Am I getting that lonely and pathetic? No, I don't feel any different. The three claw scars can still be felt slashing the right side of my face. I am still an outcast. Still a cast out and dishonored loner, banished from any and all contact.