My c o l d desire
to hear the boom, boom,
b o o m of your heart

The winter had left Caligula looking slightly gaunt, a little pot-bellied mostly due to the puppies she assumed that were within her. Otherwise, she had very very large parasites that liked to press on her bladder and liked to kick late at night. Between the two of them there had been enough to allow the puppies to grow while she lost just a little of her bulk. It was clear to her that they needed a pack. She would not be able to raise whoever was in her womb without one. At least Celesdue and Phobia were back. Another set of ears, eyes and teeth to aid in the raising of children. She thought briefly of her Mother. Knowing her mother, Caligula would have more half siblings to deal with. She had scented her mother in the Crater a few times and wondered if Vidar was stupid enough to open his mouth and used whatever half-formed words he could manage to form to tell of who really took his eye. For the first time in the night goddess's life she felt the small pang of fear. Not for herself, but for the children in her womb. For her and Tesseract's children. They were pure blooded, and Caligula was sure that she was innocent of any crime. Vidar was unfit genetically, although his lack of words was surely some sort of learning deficit. Why should they deal with anything that was inferior to themselves? Tesseract may see use with all these half-siblings, but Caligula, decidedly, did not. She only hoped that Ruvindra did not find out.

She woke up that morning uncomfortable, large and restless. She had moved dens several times in the previous weeks, largely to find one that suited her well, and also to make no den smell like her greater than the others. There were several dens in the Western Crater that she favored, but the one that she was in currently was by far the best. It was near a waterfall that had a small pool of water relatively close. The front portion was a little too wet but it went deeper into the crater's ridge than first observed or even thought. She was down into the crevice, a small amount of light penetrating the large oval room she had expanded the space into. It was bedded with various foliage and pine needles to make it soft and comfortable. Caligula had gone out to the waterfall, lapped some water for breakfast and retreated back to the den. She had no intentions of coming out that day. She followed her instincts, as they were never wrong, and her instincts told her that something was off today. She had sent Tesseract out, mainly because she had no desire even for him to be around. It was the first time she had ever felt that sensation and while her mind wanted to analyze it, dissect it and find it's root--she was far to restless to do so properly. Thus, Tesseract was kicked out, sent on some sort of errand to keep him busy for awhile.

She curled into a ball, closing her eyes and rested peacefully for awhile. But like all Mothers know, the first contraction came. Her head shot up, and her eyes adjusted to the relative darkness as they watched her own flanks as another ripple cascaded through her musculature. A harsh, breathy noise escaped her lips--it was the closest to a whine she would ever produce. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows that this is what her mother had gone through multiple times. She knows that no wolf would be alive if they could not survive this. Still, she's gets up, turns and settles down as another contraction ripples through her body. It seems like hours before she feels the urge to push, and push she does. Contraction after contraction ripple through her with an alarming frequency until finally a head rushes out with an excess of fluid. Caligula's eyes widen, partially in fear of not knowing what exactly she was doing, and partially because she worried that there was something wrong. She pushes again, and this time a beautiful little girl erupts from her. Immediately Caligula reaches behind herself and tenderly grabs the pup. Pulling it closer towards her, she licks her clean, happily discovering that the pup is alive and better yet, she was screaming. She eats the placenta and nudges the pup closer to her, the motherly instincts that had been placed in her genetic code kicking in with alarming accuracy.

It was only a few minutes before the contractions start again, and this time, she pushes fully expecting that another pup would pop out like the eldest did. Except, no puppy came. She sighed heavily, repositioning herself while being careful not to harm the squealing bundle of joy at her nipple. This time the contraction came and she groaned with that hoarse sort of noise escaping her. She pushed and thought she saw the beginning of a head only to retract as the contraction ebbed. Again the contraction came, and again she pushed, and again there was no relief from the pain she felt in her hind end. She was the closest she'd ever been from panicking. Gone was the cool, calm and collected Caligula that had seen so much of the world. Replaced by a wild, sweat soaked girl who was terrified that she would lose her babies before they even were properly brought into the world. Another contraction and finally, the head appears and stays. Finally, one more contraction and the pup slides out. She was bigger than her sister, and far darker, with only a sprinkling of white to proclaim that her father was within her. This time, Caligula wasted no time to bring the pup to her side, and to dry her off. She placed her next to her first born and compared them. The first was clearly more of a mix of both her parents and the second took decidedly after herself. It was strange to see aspects of herself and Tesseract mirrored into beings so small.

Unfortunately, her musings did not last long. Instead another wave of contractions came, which caused her to grunt in pain. She was already sore back there and while her conscious mind did not register that she could be bleeding, it did register that she was not so sure she could take any more of this. How did her mother do this year after year? She pushes, and pushes and pushes. Each time the contraction grows stronger, and longer but Caligula finds no relief. Again, the panic that had proceeded the expulsion of her second daughter grows in her chest. She pushes again, and when no pup appears, she stands up. She pants, her pink tongue rolling from her open jaws and stands there for a moment. She contracts again, and her hind legs shake from the effort of pushing while standing. She circles the two little girls, unable to lay down just yet. Another contraction rips through her sides and forces her down, and she crumples a short distance away from the two little girls who squeal and climb on top of each other. She knows that she can't keep away from them long but the pain was almost too much to bare. Caligula stretches and puts her nose out to them, licking them again as if she didn't do a good enough job the first time.

Again, contractions come with increased duration and she pushes. She pushes hard and finally, she sees the littlest nose peak through. Relieved, but still frightened for her next child, she pushes again as another large contraction racks through her body. This time the head was exposed, black just like her mother. She pants between contractions so very close to exhaustion. With another push, she can see the last pups shoulders, and sees a marking so similar to Tesseracts. She groans, and tries to get up, but finds that her hind legs and hind end are too sore to entertain such an idea. The mere movement of a hind leg causes a riff of pain to echo up her body. She lays back down, though this time closer to her two daughters. Finally, one last contraction forces the large child to slip out from her mother. It was clear she was the largest of the three, but Caligula was too tired and sore to care. She simply brought the girl closer to her, pleased that she was bawling in protest from being born and cleaned her off.

When everyone was dry, nursing and relatively happy, Caligula cleans the den as much as she could reach. She cleans up most of the evidence that she had recently given birth, the nourishment most needed and it would mask the scent to any that wished them harm. She then lays down, her legs protectively around her children. Three healthy balls of squeals, grunts, and protests when another pushes them out of the way. She closes her eyes, and tries desperately not to move her hind limbs so as to not cause herself pain. Caligula was happy that she had three beautiful, nameless children. She was confident that Tesseract would be back, if he wasn't already and that he had names in mind. He would be thoroughly outnumbered now, with three little girls that would eventually have him wrapped around their paws. Yet they were perfect, and beautiful. Caligula stuck her nose to each other, reassuring herself that they were okay, and then curled her head around them, and closed her eyes to rest from panic, fear and effort it took to birth them.