IP: 12.231.36.2
Posted on July 7, 2013 at 02:50:27 AM by Enigma
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I am HUGE. I've never felt so unattractive, so bloated, so helpless. Cobryn is almost always there, telling me the opposite, trying to make me feel like a goddess. He does his best. The bad thing is that I notice the moments when he's NOT there more. I think about that ungodly black and gold female, Pheonix, or whatever the hell her name was, and the way he looked at her. You would think I wouldn't know anything about that look because I've never felt it, but there was no mistaking what that was. That was an imprint or my name is Pheonix Junior. Damn her. Damn her and her stupid domineering lusty attitude. I could practically smell the hormones raging, the middle of winter bearing down on us for that pack meeting and she comes sashaying in like a high-dollar dancer. I swear I saw drool in the corners of Cobryn's mouth. Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones. I don't remember what they were like before in the tundra. I can't remember that far back, and usually, I try not to. All I know is I HATE her. I absolutely loathe her. She is taking my mate away from me, or trying to, at least. And I feel helpless to stop it. How can I? How can anyone stop the pull of the imprint bond? The hormones are raging, leaving me grieving like I've already lost him, tears sliding down my muzzle one minute and the next I'm snarling at the shadows in the den and wanting to tear her pretty face off for even looking at him. I've fought so long for this; I stayed by his side no matter what, encouraging him, looking out for him. I stayed when others did not. And this is what I get? I haven't even felt the tickle of an imprint bond yet in all my fifteen years. Where is my lusty soul mate to try and steal me away? I snort at my own thoughts, shaking my head as I dig my claws into the dirt. I wouldn't want him even if he walked up to me right now and said he could take me away and love only me forever. I would most likely spit in his face because I love Cobryn so damn much. I could never turn my back on him, no matter what. Before he was my lover, my mate, he was my best friend, my counter part, my partner in crime. I feel torn up inside to think that he's not all mine anymore. I can only hope that getting rid of the unborn children in my womb will help with all this cause I can't take it anymore. I want to feel secure in my relationship again. I want to know that he wants me and only me that way. I want to know that he's still mine. Pawing at my face to rid my cheeks of the tears, I go to get up and walk it off but a crippling pain downs me again. Groaning, I roll onto my side, suddenly panting as contractions ripple down my frame. It's time. With everything I've got, I howl, calling out for my mate, for my Cobryn. He's got to be here for this, he's just got to. I can't do it without him. I take the pain of a few more contractions as they double in size and come more frequently. I groan and stifle my cries by biting down on my lip. I try to be strong, like I've always been. I try to be the rock. I struggle on the ground, wishing I could just push them out and be done with it but hours go by and the pain only worsens. Finally it's time to start pushing and I do with a mighty snarl, pushing with everything I've got. The first puppy takes the longest time and once he's out, I realize why. He's huge! I stare at him for a moment, blinking as he cries out and bursts through his birthing sack. But suddenly the instincts kick in and I start licking him, cleaning him vigorously, taking away all the fluids, putting everything into making him perfect. I want to make Cobryn proud with what we can create. He's beautiful. He's mostly Cobryn's gray hue with a mask to match my own except that it's dark gray instead of black. The rest of him is different shades of gray with off white legs. His eyes aren't open yet but I'm sure they'll be beautiful too. I nudge him to my stomach and look at him for a moment, a soft smile tugging at my lips. The name comes to me instantly. "Tristan." I whisper. Heart breakingly beautiful Tristan. I wish I could admire him forever but the pain comes again, the contractions starting all over again and I fall to my side, crippled as the pain takes over. I bite my lips, tasting the rich tang of blood in my mouth as I start pushing, wanting it all to be over. The second puppy is smaller and doesn't take as long to push out as the first. Once she's out, I get up and start cleaning her, though I'm sore and exhausted by this point. All I want to do is lie down and sleep for days. I find out that she's a girl, a beautiful baby girl. She's different shades of gray as well, mostly light gray and off white. As I clean her head, I notice the unique brindling on her forehead. She will drive the boys crazy. Insanely beautiful. I sigh, admiring her as her names comes to me. "Viora." I start to relax right as the contractions take over again. I whine before I can bite my lip this time, the pain back there so intense that I want to tear it right off and get it over with. This is like dying. How can creating life be so painful? I push and push and for a while, it seems like this puppy will never come out. I start to give up but something drives me to push again and when I do, hallelujah! The puppy comes out. I sit up and start cleaning him even though it feels half assed by this time. I just hope I don't get more blood on him from where I've been biting my lips again. When I do get him cleaned, he looks outstanding. He's mostly white but he has a lot of black spots on him, mostly around his ears and his shoulder down his front legs. He has the mask too and it extends into a dark gray mohawk down the back of his neck. He'll be a player, for sure. I smirk, his name coming to me. "Solitaire." It's barely a whisper by this time, the exhaustion making my eyes droop. I feel like a ton of bricks, my eyelids slowly sliding closed but I have to nuzzle each of them one last time. They smell like heaven, even if I feel like I've just been dragged through hell and back. I sigh, wanting to see Cobryn before I sleep. I just have to see him. I hurt all over. I have a feeling this won't go away overnight. But I have three children now. The afterbirth doesn't take much to push out, though it's uncomfortable and I manage to eat it even though I feel like I'm falling asleep as I do so. I lie my head down by the puppies, watching them suckle, my two toned eyes searching hungrily for Cobryn. |
Replies:
- .life is worth living. - By Tristan July 10, 2013 at 02:39:45 AM
Explore The Wilds - By Viora July 10, 2013 at 10:26:28 PM
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