His retort about how many he has fathered by how many females earns a snort from me. The sound causing a rapid rise and fall of my chest as I make a laugh of sorts at it. He may have, he could be telling the truth as he has no reason to lie about such a thing to me, but still, three females? Ah, well I suppose he does have an imprint, had a rather exceptional mate named Zeivah, who may have very well bore him the bulk of these fifteen children, and now I know of Zen. There are your three Heyel, before I found out the truth of it all I found out about your life. I had planned on killing you too after all, but then I realized you were simply a gun for hire and Jaidah was the one to point you at our mother. Lucky day for you, that was. As it was I simply shook my head at him. Too many for me, too many females, that is. If it were me I would want to give Devil as many pups as he wanted.

Actually I have given him the ones I could, the other times I was too busy trying to keep away from him, trying not to see him. I grit my teeth again, not commenting on the matter any more. Lucky him for having such a large family, lucky he has had someone to love him and he never truly had to sleep alone. Surely out of eighteen - seventeen, minus Zeivah, sorry...- relatives one would think he could fill his den any time he wished. Though I suppose it just wouldn't be the same with a child. I hardly cared anymore who filled my den, as long as I was not alone. I was so tired of being alone, so sick of this stupid ache in my chest. Though honestly, I really don't know what I would do if this pain was ever assuaged, I have lived with it for so long. It has been the only constant within my chaotic life and I am unfortunately unsure how I would cope without such a thing. Surely it would be liberating to not have this constricting within my chest, to not feel so heavy all the time.

I lay my head down, content to relax once more, and I shift my legs a bit, laying on one while keeping my yellow gaze on the wolf at my imprint's door. Or should I say my door? Either way I suppose, it doesn't really matter. His tattered ear moves back, listening as if I needed guarding, something I am glad for perhaps, though it makes me feel like a fragile flower to have someone guarding the den while I rested inside. Though I suppose this is only another fit, one thrown at Heyel because Devil isn't here for me to lash out at. I huff out a breath, my heart panging once more in longing as his name yet again flits across my consciousness. Why won't he just get out of my head already? I want my mind back, this lack of focus is killing me. I smirk, watching Heyel tilt his head, such an odd thing to see on a male with such a reputation.

The smirk on his face is much better, and I prepared myself for the biting phrases I have come to expect from Heyel. He surprises me, and I let the shock filter across my face for a moment before I wipe it away. What happened to the sarcastic Heyel? I watched that part of him flit into those violet eyes, but he seemed to hold back what ever remark he was going to make in lieu of an actual response to my question. How sweet, Heyel, to know you care about your words and their affect on others. That was...oddly nice of you. I don't like his response though, that he has not seen him today. I am glad to know he still comes around, though the restlessness is probably my fault. It would seem that Kiska and I disappearing was enough to bring his slowly crumbling wall tumbling down. Then Fathom snapped him, pain hits my chest at the thought of my beloved daughter. Ears tip forward at the mention of grandchildren.

I wish the grandchildren I had were able to know me, their father being of my blood, but I will not associate with the child of Jaidah. I cannot bring myself to seek them out because I do not wish to see any blood of Jaidah. I do not say anything for a long time, the mention of Devil's sons making me miss my own Capone. My ears tilt back, eyes seeming to darken. Perhaps if I had never left Paracon, my children would have been better off. I feel...defeated. Every turn I make seems to be not enough, and it costs me in the end. I threw away my virtue on a wolf I thought could love me, had a litter I shouldn't have and threw away my career in the process, left Moladion to find only darkness and a bleak soul, come back to find the object of my affections has gone mad, and now I am to do it all over again it would seem. Something filters into my mind, a memory of long ago before Devil was ever mated to that giant of a female.

He had asked me if I had been with another male, asking me if Capone and his sisters were fully his. I had told him I would only ever be with him, that I could only ever let him give me pups. Obviously, I had meant it. Fate it would seem takes promises to a whole new level between imprints. Enough! I do not want to think of him right now. I stay silent for a moment, but propriety demands I answer him. ”I will tell him, if I am the first to see him.” I say nothing on the subject of his line, Devil's eyes are not mismatched, which firmly places the blame on Kiska. The blood within Kane is of Kiska and Devil, and all of our children have had the same colored eyes. It is her fault your grandaughter has those eyes, her genes flowing in the dark angel's veins. Devil had nothing to do with it. I manage a small grin, moving back on my side, the swell of my stomach more apparent than before as I relax. I am content to let him guard the den, content to at least finally have some company.