He stood, watching her as she remained firm, with her hooves planted in the soil. She refused to fall at another mans feet, and even if it made her look outlandish with her stiff position. She felt like she had to be constantly thinking, planning, and so she remained immobile, preparing to launch into motion. Her lip began to tremble, beneath the constant pressure, jealousy, guilt, and the fact she was missing Dexter so much. Her breathing quickened, racing to push down the pathetic cry that pushed its way up her throat. Her trembling lips peeled open and out came a weak cry followed by cautious but piercing whines. It scared her how vulnerable she felt and she desperately hated that feeling, of needing someone to simply help her stay on her feet.

She sounded like an animal with its tail caught in between a doorway and having it slammed shut. It began as high pitched cries, the beginning of a call for help, and ended in low moans as she kept gasping for air so that she didn't have time to cry. She was still gulping down oxygen when Arcus gave her the absurd idea of letting go. No matter how pleasant and endearing it sounded she refused to let her guard down. She was caged in, and anytime she tried to step foot out of her prison, there were monsters snapping at her heels. So she remained confined, convincing herself that she didn't need anything but herself, so she could wallow in self pity. And then Bleu got pregnant with her first child, which the father had pointed out merely seconds before. She wanted to go with flow but her angry heart was making sure she was half insane half the time.

The last time she ever let her heart control her like this was when she had been in love with Dexter. And it only resulted in heartbreak and pain. Stinging, burning pain that only came from an infected wound that refused to heal. So maybe she should let Arcus take charge in caring for her and she could relax for a second. It sounded so nice just thinking about it, like his poetic words were a lullaby. Sleepily, she settled down on the floor, making herself comfortable. Looking up at Arcus, she then found the silence in which she could speak in. "I think you're right. Maybe I try to solve everything that has an answer. So I'm going to do exactly what you said." She glanced down at the ground before resuming the conversation with her blue eyes returning to him. "Im going to let go and learn."

She leaned into the wall with her shoulder, paying attention to the nervousness that was displayed in his cautious actions. He was in need, such as she was, yet instead of asking for a solution, he forgot about his own well being and put her first. It was what fathers were supposed to do. Put their children and the mother before all else. It was important to her that she found someone just like Arcus, or Arcus himself. And in that moment, she decided to assure him she would be staying in the ridge. If he still wanted to house an emotional wreck. "I think I'm going to stay here for a while, if that's okay." Leaning farther against the wall and prepared to dip into a deep sleep but another request kept her awake. A story? She found it adorable that he wanted a bedtime story from her and so she obliged, immediately, jumping into the story.

"I used to be abused and neglected as a child. Almost everybody hated me, including my own parents," Her blue eyes were eerily calm as she began her tale, as if she was telling a story that wasn't her own. ",But there was one colt, who stood up for me each and every time," She was remembering his small face, his eyes twinkling with a courage she would never have. ",Though he was the herd leaders son so he was untouchable. And for a short time, he was my savior," This wasn't her story, her story wasn't a happy one. But then again, this story hadn't ended yet so who knows? ",And then his father found out about him helping the outcast. And his own father, sent him off, seasons before he was due." Her lips moved, each word attempting to claw at he tattered heart. But she remained strong, not letting her glistening blue eyes spill a single salty tear.

",Two days later I found out about him being sent away. That was the day I started to rebel, speak up." She had told Dexter her story, but not this one, because back then her story didn't include any bit of happiness. "A season later I ran away, to get away and a small part of me hoped I'd find him but I never did." Her eyes immediately fled from Arcus' face and she searched for a distraction. She felt herself tearing into two but then her eyes came back to Arcus and it was all better. Her quickening heart beat slowed and she felt herself settling down, being lulled by her own lullaby.

Slowly, she fell down under, like she was being put under a spell. Her eyes fluttered shut and she relaxed, dropping down and melting into the ground. She took one last sleepy look at her companion, before she fully rested her eyes. Bleu listened to the sounds of the cave with her drowsy ears. Never had she felt so exhausted. It was like she had been running on pure adrenaline and anger for the past hour and now her lack of sleep caught up to her. So she gave in, though she didn't give up either. She just let herself cave in, swallowing her existence whole as she floated into a deep, long-lasting slumber.

But unfortunately it wouldn't last long enough to actually kill her either.


SEE I'VE COME TO BURN YOUR KINGDOM DOWN

b l e u
mare / 3 years old / of the ridge