Was I?
I was too lazy to play.
__________________________________
He’d basically lost it. He’d lost everything he’d ever wanted… he’d ever needed. Some of the things he’d never even had. That was what wrecked him… he hurt. He wanted the things that every child was entitled to, and that hadn’t happened. He’d hold his tongue for now, he’d let the creature talk, but it didn’t keep him from staring off the edge of the world. This was his world, and he had the power to end it all in his fingertips. It was something that he could have… power he could have. Not like he had that anymore. Not like he had as much as he wanted anymore. It was all bullshit.

Fair. “What would you know about fair?” The words are quiet, under his breath really. It’s all under his breath, and that’s something that he can really do. Growling words. Harsh, growling words that resonate deep in his chest. The words come out no more gentle than he intends—just the way he needs to say them. They’re ragged, glaring, focusing energy against the man. Another half a step toward the edge of the world. It’s his place, up here, and Alcide had invaded it. Another step or two and he could end things here and now… and maybe he was thinking about that exactly.

It’s when a parent talks and the words go in one year and out the other. “I don’t need your thanks.” Bane’s hackles were up, the venom dripping from his words as he speaks. “I was doing my job. It’s what the man of the family does.” So really, he was doing Alcide’s job. Bane had done Alcide’s job and he’d gotten comfortable with that. It was when the man came back and decided he wanted his job back that it left Bane feeling… strikingly empty. Empty, wanting, restless… he needed something. It was like keeping them up and running became the thing that kept him up and running.

And then… and then he had nothing. That was made clear by his father. “Don’t apologize, damn it.” The only thing he wants from the man anymore is what he deserves. He doesn’t want to hunt. He doesn’t want to apprentice under a broken down old man that he’d never even met. Bane doesn’t want to feed the pack, he wants to lead the pack. He’s the one that deserves it. Alcide… doesn’t deserve any of it. That’s what raises his hackles. Teeth showing in his head, just under his lips… just under his lips. He wouldn’t lash out. He would sit, and he would speak like an adult.

“You’re old now, Alcide. The child is young.” he’s shaking, now. Trembling from the inside out as he turns away. He turns his face from his father, glance severe. Everything is trembling, shaky… he can hardly hold his insides in. If he had tears to cry… you’d see. You’d just see. “You don’t understand.” The creature’s voice broke, shook… he could hardly handle it. He could hardly handle any of it. He couldn’t handle things unless he had a job to do. A job that wasn’t canine existence at its lamest.

__________________________________
calista’s heart and soul

try to amplify the sound of light and love