I'm a little disappointed that she doesn't reach out to touch me when we meet and a part of me wonders if its because of what I did to her last winter, if some part of her does feel sickened by me. And yet I only see longing and happiness in her gaze when she looks at me and I take heart from that, my own gaze reflecting happiness right back at her. I feel more relaxed than I have in months. Just knowing that she's so close and yet out of reach is like a death sentence to my skin, ripples of longing moving through my fur as I ache to reach out to her, to touch her fur, her neck, everywhere and anywhere she'd let me. But then we both know we'd never get to the date, not unless she stopped me. I think sometimes she's the only one who can stop me. Perhaps she always was.

I wonder sometimes if she ever thinks about the wolf she ran away with, the one who tried to give her a happy ending. I still think of him and want to rip his jugular out just for looking at her with any kind of longing but at the same time, a part of me wants to thank him for trying to be that one for her, the only one. He probably didn't have an imprint to pull him away and maybe that would have been best, to get away from Moladian where imprints exist and be able to choose who you want to love for the rest of your life. I know I could never leave Moladian, not as long as my children and friends are here. Not as long as she's here. I don't even know if Kiska still exists in Moladian anymore. Maybe she left to find a place where she could choose. She deserves someone who can love her truly and unconditionally. I just wish she would have at least said good bye.

Suddenly she reaches out, burying her muzzle in my scruff and I inhale sharply with pleasure, closing my eyes as the sensation soars through my veins. I finally manage to breathe out a greeting to her, a simple hi that means so much. My eyes re-open, bright and carnal, full of longing and lust and dark thoughts, my ears pricking to hear her answer back with a simple hello. I can sense her eagerness, her own longing all in that one word and it's enough to make me want to jump her right here and now. Again, though, I want to do this right so with every fiber of strength left in my body, I restrain my animal urges. She laughs and its a beautiful sound. I can't even remember the last time I've heard her carefree laugh. I grin, happy to be the cause of such a joyous sound. She tells me she's hungry and my tail wags. I'm stuck between nervous and excited. Will she like what I have planned? My voice is a deep promise.

She is curious of what I have planned, I can see it plainly on her pretty features. She thinks she knows everywhere there is to know in Moladian but I have a few secrets of my own, a few I want to share with her now. As we start walking, I feel the welcome touch of her fur against mine, rubbing so sensually against each other. It leaves me hungry for more but I restrain myself, letting my body burn like it's on fire with every little touch. She is mostly quiet as we walk, thoughtful and for a split second, I wonder if she's having doubts. Perhaps she thinks that Kiska's disappearance has something to do with this. Perhaps she thinks if my mate was still around, that I would not be with her now. I cannot say if that is true or not. I tried my best to give Kiska all that I have even though I could never give her my soul since it was already taken. She left for reasons I don't know or understand. I can't say I'm happy she left. I wish she was still around. Would we still be together? I can't honestly say. We had our happy moments but she always seemed to be in pain when we were together. I think she could see the emptiness inside my eyes when I wasn't with Natalya. I don't know what would be if things were different but I'm happy with what I have right now. I feel whole, complete. I can only hope Natalya feels the same.

I stop when we reach the first spot and turn my head to her, wanting to see her reaction. Her eyes widen and she looks frozen to the spot. My own eyes prick forward, my tail waving back and forth as I let her take it all in, a sly smile on my lips. Finally she turns her head to me, sighing in satisfaction and I can tell that she's surprised. She giggles at my words and my eyes beam with happiness to hear that sound. She tells me that its beautiful and my face softens. I watch as she moves across the stream to go to the island, tilting my head as she stops for a minute. She seems to choose and smirks, heading over to the tender lamb just as I wanted her to. She sits down before her meal, waiting on me and I smile, trotting over to the yearling where I take my seat. I give her a look as I dip my head down toward the yearling, taking a deep whiff of the fresh meat as my eyes never leave her own. I slowly lick my lips, a dark carnal look in my eyes for her alone before I take a bite of the yearling's shoulder, the meaty part. I wait for her to start eating before I continue eating myself, my eyes drawing back to her time and again, wanting to see her devour the meal just as I want to devour her, body and soul.