IP: 2.28.12.27
Posted on October 16, 2013 at 00:41:33 AM by amber
Amber regretted her subconscious decision to bite her nails in relief of anxiety almost immediately: there was sand under them. Her tongue curled around the minute grits of rock with distaste, but spitting them out now would be undignified. A little bit of sand in the indigestion system was harmless, so she rounded up as much as she could and tried to swallow it. Her mouth felt dry, her throat like sandpaper, and a few tiny grains remained scattered around her gums. For once, Amber was glad to be communicating telepathically instead of verbally, just in case it was visible when she spoke. At the very least, having sand in her mouth provided a welcome distraction from the rest of her emotions. Her skin tingled as if the room temperature had taken a sudden dive, her stomach felt like it was made of stone and she was fighting back tears. Apart from her mother, she’d never told anyone her shameful secret. Had anyone in history ever used telepathy as anything other than an evil weapon? Could it even be used for good? Amber could see no positive aspect of being able to invade the privacy of others’ minds, and whenever she thought of it she couldn’t help but think also of Gwythr – and her father. Shaman had been told that they were not the same person, but a lifetime of being shadowed by one - or the other – or both – made them difficult to distinguish between, especially as she had never met either. Gwythr – or was it Mallos? – was well known for his – their? – psychic abilities. It seemed like such a cruel twist of fate that Amber has inherited not only the obvious Mediterranean looks, but also the notorious magic. And, somehow, it felt harder to admit to Graeling than she imagined it would to a stranger. Not because of what he lacked in trust, but because of what he held in value. Then he smiled. It took a moment for the knot in her stomach to ease, as though it took the rest of her body longer than her mind to process the thoughts rising to the surface of Graeling’s consciousness. Even if he had been the lying sort, Amber didn’t think it was possible to think a lie to someone else. He didn’t mind her telepathy. The weight of the world seemed to lift off her shoulders, and it took her a few seconds after he’d finished to register the real meaning behind what he’d thought. Empath. Amber knew little about empathy beyond that it was more feeling-oriented than what she could do. She could detect feelings in others, of course, but only because people tended to think about their feelings. She couldn’t sense the raw emotions themselves, or feel them as if they were her own. I can barely shut people’s feelings out… The hand which was having its nails bitten down almost to the quick shook a little, briefly, as a powerful wave of emotion washed over her. Relief, but also, predominantly, something more – the feeling of likeness, of being understood. It seemed almost impossible that two people faced with almost the same uncontrollable, frowned-upon psychic ability could live together for so long in silence without realising their common affliction. In that moment, Amber felt closer to Graeling than she ever had to anyone else in her life before – closer even than she’d been to her mother, or to Reyna. She didn’t say anything or project any of her thoughts, knowing that she didn’t need to. She’d never need to. The good feeling, like a lit candle after hours of darkness, wavered a little when he picked up the train of thought about her mother. The gentle glimmer of sadness which always followed Amber when she thought of her mother tempered her thoughts. ‘She went missing in action in the civil war. I was sixteen.’ She took a breath and smiled easily as he half-formed the sentences with his mouth. ‘Advantage of familiars: good practice in telepathic communication.’ * * * |
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