Rivulets of forgotten tears dot the landscape as I paw my way around it, ears flicking at the slightest sound as though ready to catch onto any intrusion into my privacy. But... I don't see what the purpose of privacy anymore, not with the way that I see myself.
I see a lass far past her prime, with nothing to show for it but a broken heart and a continued will to live, for no apparent reason. I see a girl with a body that well exceeds her mind, in prowess as well as age. I see a wolf who had lost her birthright purpose long ago to a sense of self she couldn't let go.
And, in the soft pools of rained down agua, my eyes look back at me. I see me. "Estelle", they named me. Star. That I may guide and protect, I suppose, and yet I wonder.. what was I ever meant to protect, guard, or guide?
My answers lie within.. what did they hope for me to accomplish this way?
The sound and smell of more water starts to flood my senses, and the pace I take picks up more.
It is in that very moment, my movements stall. A wave of emotion, from off to my right somewhere... It feels like apathy and pain, yet more than pain... anguish... like.. like something's gotten so complicated for someone, it just isn't... I don't know how to put into words sometimes the things I feel, yet there it is, drifting into my emotional center. Tail dropping to a low hang, my whole body starts to sink a little lower to the ground as I move. Staying close to the source of this emotion... I don't know if I can do it, yet, I know that if its owner should approach me, I'll be nothing if not cordial.
That's how I've always been, it seems. My steps twist over a low incline, veering from the rockier, steeper path. What should I expect to find, beyond the stones and the smooth river flow? Resting my paws down again, my body sinking to the side of the little pool of liquid, there is nothing in line for expectations. Nothing but to expect something.
And that is all there ever needed to be.
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estelle · 11 years · angel · truly alone · lhx
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