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He might be an individual, he might be his own damn wolf, but he is still my son! Even if I don’t show it very often I still love him, I still want to protect him and keep him safe from a world that is only going to tear down anyone even remotely different. Maybe I can’t fix this star walking nonsense but I am entirely sure, if he just tried, if I helped…then surely he could learn to tell the difference between what is real and what isn’t? How is he ever going to hold a rank in a pack? How is he ever going to find a mate or sire children if he can’t damn well tell the difference between dreams and reality? He’ll be an outcast and I don’t want that….I….I know what that’s like. I know what it is to be the one in the family everybody thinks is just- different and I don’t want that for him. I’ve tried to understand, but I can’t, it scares me, it worries me, I don’t know how to handle this and I don’t mean to yell at him, not really, but he won’t listen, he won’t see I am just trying to help and clearly, for whatever reason, the louder I say it, the more it surely makes him hear. As it was, my irritation only grew, his huff causing my heckles to lift slightly along my spine. He may be a big boy and a handsome one too, but he does not yet outsize or outweigh me and he can damn well watch how he speaks.

"I am supposed to live in the shadows, it is my job Starfall and if you have a job here, then so be it, I don’t want to stop you! I don’t care if you want to live here or in a damn log in the middle of the forest, I don’t care. What I care about is the fact you told no one you were leaving! Did you think your Mother and I wouldn’t look for you? Did you think your brothers and sisters wouldn’t care? What you did, Star, was outright selfish and that is why I am mad. Because you didn’t think."

I made some attempt to keep my voice down, trying in vain to stop myself from picking him up and shaking some sense into him, stupid boy. I love my son, but I hardly have the temper or patience for this. Hell, Andromeda should have come, he probably would have listened to her and she’s the one who understands this star dreaming walking nonsense that makes no sense to me. I tried to understand, I tried to at least be supportive, but I refuse to have my boy growing up believing he lives in fairy land! I want him to have a life, I want to see him with his own pups one day. Why couldn’t he grow up to be a warrior or even a healer like Meryl? It might be a girly job but at least it’s something. Maybe….maybe he did find a place here and truly if that is the case then I am thankful, not mad, not angry I just…get so frustrated. I cannot make him see, I yell he does not listen. Maybe if I didn’t yell so much, I try, really, but patience is not my virtue. I always was rather emotional and maybe if I wasn’t so annoyed I would have noticed, in reality…my son is exactly like me, just as I am like Heyel, though none of us will admit it, none of us will see the cycle of Father and son we have created. As for dragging his Mother into this, the boy can think again. Maybe Stella and I do fight, alright, we fight a lot, but I adore her more then any other creature on this planet. I would live and die for her over and over again. She is heat and soul and life itself as far as I am concerned and I will not hear a word said against her, not now, not ever, not by anyone. Andromeda is a goddess in my eyes and respect for his Mother is something he will show, or else I will damn well make him.

Why he continues to believe his own dreams I hardly know, nor do I know why he thinks I would walk out here just to argue with him about what he did or did not tell me, hell, I wouldn’t be in this dirty and hair-destroying forest if he had told me this was where he wanted to go. I never would have stopped him, my children can join any pack they want, except for Iromar of course and I will hardly say a word against it. I want him to find his place, I want him to have a life, but not the kind of life where he seems to believe abandoning his family and using his Mother as an excuse is ok. Rebellious teenager or not and what he thinks aside, he cannot just do what he damn well wants. That isn’t life. The boy seemed content to yell right back at me and really I shouldn’t have been surprised, I believe this behaviours might have been directly inherited….from Andromeda I am sure. She always was headstrong and her son is no different. I allowed the blue gold of my gaze to rest against the blue taint of his own, ready to speak one more when he turned around! Oh…oh good, this is sure to help, how very mature, not that this makes me more annoyed or anything. I felt a growl coil within my throat, jaws parting once more when the boy suddenly got up and started trotting off. Oh no you damn well don’t. I eased forward onto my own paws, silent atop the earth for a stride or to before lunging, powerful muscle and wide stride propelling my form forward, picoting neatly to land in front of him once more and block his path into the trees as the heckles along my spine lifted like bloody knives against the white of my pelt, lip pulling back from my fangs in a warning to my own child that I would play this game no longer. Yelling is one thing, but turning his back on me and walking away is another entirely.

"Don’t you dare ever walk away from me again. We are done when I say we are done, Starfall. If you want to be treated as an adult then act like one. Maybe I do not understand, but neither do you. You told NO ONE you were leaving, it was in your mind, you left, you left us all without a word and that I do not understand, neither does your Mother. You allow your own stupid dreams to rule your life, you allow them to control you. How long, Starfall, before you walk off the edge of a cliff or into any enemy pack as happened with your Mothers relative? If you want to live here then so be it, we want you to be where you want, but you still have a family, you need to grow up and remember that. Take some responsibility as Guardian has, don’t run off to some forest and hide. I expect an apology to your Mother and your siblings the next time you come home. Now- we are done."




AZRAEL

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"8 years ~ Andromeda ~ Sire of Meryl/Starfall/Guardian/Celeste/Iophiel/Mithos/Ambrosia/Elara/Zaphkiel ~ Diveen "