It had flown by, from the first day to now, the months and the season of ice had come and gone in the blink of an eye. My sides had not truly flared out, though they usually do not, I did grow to about the size I had been with my first two girls. These days, I have spent making a chamber within my den - the one shared with my beloved. I have been shedding in the early days of spring, and I know my day is drawing closer. Only yesterday I had dragged fir branches into my little chamber, lining the dirt of the floor with the branches, and my fur catching naturally in the nettles as I trade the plush velvet of my winter coat for something more sleek and silken. I spend increasing amounts of time awake, watching the stars, wondering what they actually are. My instincts causing me to be restless, nesting habits taking over as I know my time comes. I am ready for it, ready to see what perfection my love and I have created this time, excited and anxious to be a mother to tiny pups once more.

This night, while cool outside the den, finds me in a particularly feverish state. I pant as I lay next to Zildjian, his body heat enough to lavish myself in on any other night except this one. Tonight I find any outside heat almost unbearable, and while I love my soul, I cannot abide this heat any longer. I move out of the den, pacing as I try to cool myself. It is during this pacing that I feel it start. At first it is a simple dull ache, most commonly accompanying hunger, but this time I know the heralding sign. I close my eyes, calming the flutter of anticipation that went through me, and where most mothers would go into the den at the first sign, I simply go and nudge Zildjian awake. "It is starting, my love." I say in a calm voice, my tones light and happy despite the tug of pain spreading in my abdomen. My breath hitches and a moment passes where I consider simply going inside and relaxing, but I want to be out here in the cool air for just a while longer.

I sit with my eyes closed, simply breathing calmly as I try to keep calm. My frame shaking as the cold of the night finally reaches my skin, the pain ebbing slowly as I try to relax once more. My heart beats strongly as I smile, thinking of my other children, my thoughts ever drifting towards their father. When I can stand the cold no longer, I let my graceful frame slink back into the warmth of the den, moving to my chamber as I keep my breathing slow and calm. Hours pass by as I lay there, the pains that tell me my children are on their way getting closer and closer together until they all but blend with each other. I do not make any sounds other than soft growls and the occasional whimper when the pain gets to be too much. I can't get comfortable, my form constantly shifting and moving, my breaths coming in short pants as the hour draws closer that I will have to begin my work. It doesn't take very long after the contractions become stronger that I get the urge to push, and far be it from me to deny my instincts.

The hardest thing is getting started, making myself push to bring them to the world, bringing myself the pain that comes with making lives. But, once I do finally get going, I cannot stop. My body stills and my claws dig gouges into the walls of my room, I grit my teeth against the pain of it. I pant for a moment, catching my breath as I relax before another pain signals my need to continue. The fight goes on for about two hours, then the pressure is suddenly gone and I am in a new kind of trance. I clean the cub, taking care of all the birthing mess. I release a sudden giggle, tears of joy and pain stinging my light blue eyes. We have a girl, a stunning beauty of sterling silver and glistening snow, a small mark of cinnamon on the back of her ear, burning brightly against the grey of her pelt. She moves and squeaks, protesting my attempts to clip the cord that bonds us together, making soft promises to retie the connection in other ways. Tiny paws press at my cold and wet nose, her smallness bringing a bright smile to my face, even as another pang of sharp pain lances through me. "We have a girl, Zildjian." I smile broadly once more as I look through the door of the chamber to my mate.

The moment is only cut by the returning pain, the reminder that there is still more work to be done. Despite my joy at the situation, my first girl's birth has left me rather tired. My fatigue hidden only by happiness. I never truly realized how tiring this process was, or perhaps it was the fact that I had not slept very well the passed couple of days. Nevertheless, I push and fight my body to bring my fifth child into the world. Despite the pain, another smile crosses my face and I am made to think of my other children. It distracts my mind from the pain, though it brings a pang of sadness that they are not here now. I watch as my fourth child move to my abdomen, rolling to the side to make what she seeks available, noting how strong she is already. I try to think of a name for her, but my mind is clouded once more with pain. I push when the time is right, but something tells me this one will be more challenging than the last. I pant and whine this time, growing frustrated with how long the process is taking and the pain I am being caused. I grow more and more sleepy with every passing minute, my breath shortening until it is but a whisper against the ground.

That is when she comes, when I am on the brink of passing out from utter exhaustion, she comes, though I can barely clean her. My head will hardly come off the ground. Though, somehow I do find the strength, from somewhere deep, at least cleaning her off enough to see the white of her coat, the way the dark grey clusters on her back and tail, noting the shapeless splotch of russet upon her chest, smiling at my beautiful girl. "Two girls..." I say breathlessly, and then slip off into oblivion to rest solidly at last. Dreams of long ago filling my head, and memories of my proud mother lighting my dreams as they always did.