IP: 120.149.119.230
Posted on January 10, 2014 at 12:14:38 PM by e d e n
how long will we blame the devils on our shoulders
We're both as surprised as one another. Good. I cannot complain over that, for I hardly wish to be considered predictable as it were. Many others are predictable - after all, that is how I am able to access and leave Diveen without an issue. I time the others, watching where and when they eat, when and where they sleep and who could possibly be working as their ears and eyes. She, too, is unpredictable to I and I find myself enjoying such a thing. When she speaks again, I smirk, chuffed with what she says. It is rare, this sort of speaking and yet it is something I seek constantly to little avail.
"Tu nosti."
I pause but for a moment before I speak again, ensuring this time that she may understand for what I say weighs heavier than she will surely know.
"You understand."
She understands the fact that to be weak, to be pliable, is a scourge, a shadow of a life. To be a shadow, to live within a shadow, is a life not worth living. She understands, and for this, I even acknowledge such a thing with the smallest incline of my head - it is a bow, something so few deserve and receive. It is an inkling of respect. When she speaks again, though, I recoil somewhat, huffing and looking away, shaking my head so slowly. She had called my bluff, seen the truth in my eyes as to why I stare so intently, so purposefully. It is not something I either used to or something that I enjoy, so I remain silent for some time before I turn back, my eyes narrowed this time as I speak, my voice slower, the words heavier.
"I control so that no other can control."
Me. The unspoken eighth, the unspoken truth that brings a twisted smirk to my features. In a family such as my own, control is something so difficult to achieve - between Anselm, Ayal and mother, there is little to spare. Even here, this Mistletoe does a good job at holding my attention rather than the contrary. For now, I shall tolerate it, for she is allowing me the time to think of things I have not done so in some time.
"Your company: pleasant."
I say it short and curtly, turning away from her and looking to the water once more, though even there my eyes remain fixated on hers when given the chance. It is what she says next that most intrigues me, my brow cocking once more as I watch her speak, following the lines her lips make for signs of her inner workings. She speaks of not desiring pity and I find myself believing it; even if she had so desired it, I would have none to give. Death is the norm, it is expected. Mother speaks of death, brings it, and we await the death of Heyel so that we know of our father. It is a catalyst and a finality.
"Survival comes to those that deserve it."
It is the most I can give her, though it may mean little. Death comes to all, but survival comes to few in the end. I think no more on the matter, shuffling over my paws so that I may be seated more comfortably. Whether she desires it or not, I have decided to indulge in her company for some time longer. As for what we do? It is an ambiguous question. We do much here, but at the core of it all, it is a simple thing within itself. I speak for the majority.
"We survive."
I speak flatly, staring off with that same cold smirk, satisfied with the ambiguity of my own answer. It takes me a moment but eventually, I decide to elaborate, rising to my feet with an almost mechanical fluidity. If she wishes to know, then I shall show her what there is to do - a wide ended question, but one I can at least aid in the answering of. We survive, but not all of us to the same degree.
"Come. I will show you if you desire."
I watch her for a moment, but no sooner than I rise do I begin to move off over the shores towards one of the hills that overlook the lands. They are small, these mounds of dirt and rock, and yet one can see far on a day such as this. I will show her each home, each place, each thing I know and no more lest she requests it. It is I that seems to be learning today, and if she wishes such a thing to change, she must do so.
and pose like angels on the outside
"Tu nosti."
I pause but for a moment before I speak again, ensuring this time that she may understand for what I say weighs heavier than she will surely know.
"You understand."
She understands the fact that to be weak, to be pliable, is a scourge, a shadow of a life. To be a shadow, to live within a shadow, is a life not worth living. She understands, and for this, I even acknowledge such a thing with the smallest incline of my head - it is a bow, something so few deserve and receive. It is an inkling of respect. When she speaks again, though, I recoil somewhat, huffing and looking away, shaking my head so slowly. She had called my bluff, seen the truth in my eyes as to why I stare so intently, so purposefully. It is not something I either used to or something that I enjoy, so I remain silent for some time before I turn back, my eyes narrowed this time as I speak, my voice slower, the words heavier.
"I control so that no other can control."
Me. The unspoken eighth, the unspoken truth that brings a twisted smirk to my features. In a family such as my own, control is something so difficult to achieve - between Anselm, Ayal and mother, there is little to spare. Even here, this Mistletoe does a good job at holding my attention rather than the contrary. For now, I shall tolerate it, for she is allowing me the time to think of things I have not done so in some time.
"Your company: pleasant."
I say it short and curtly, turning away from her and looking to the water once more, though even there my eyes remain fixated on hers when given the chance. It is what she says next that most intrigues me, my brow cocking once more as I watch her speak, following the lines her lips make for signs of her inner workings. She speaks of not desiring pity and I find myself believing it; even if she had so desired it, I would have none to give. Death is the norm, it is expected. Mother speaks of death, brings it, and we await the death of Heyel so that we know of our father. It is a catalyst and a finality.
"Survival comes to those that deserve it."
It is the most I can give her, though it may mean little. Death comes to all, but survival comes to few in the end. I think no more on the matter, shuffling over my paws so that I may be seated more comfortably. Whether she desires it or not, I have decided to indulge in her company for some time longer. As for what we do? It is an ambiguous question. We do much here, but at the core of it all, it is a simple thing within itself. I speak for the majority.
"We survive."
I speak flatly, staring off with that same cold smirk, satisfied with the ambiguity of my own answer. It takes me a moment but eventually, I decide to elaborate, rising to my feet with an almost mechanical fluidity. If she wishes to know, then I shall show her what there is to do - a wide ended question, but one I can at least aid in the answering of. We survive, but not all of us to the same degree.
"Come. I will show you if you desire."
I watch her for a moment, but no sooner than I rise do I begin to move off over the shores towards one of the hills that overlook the lands. They are small, these mounds of dirt and rock, and yet one can see far on a day such as this. I will show her each home, each place, each thing I know and no more lest she requests it. It is I that seems to be learning today, and if she wishes such a thing to change, she must do so.
when all i am is a monster
Replies:
- Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 16, 2014 at 05:52:36 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 19, 2014 at 08:40:40 AM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 19, 2014 at 04:15:19 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n January 28, 2014 at 11:38:55 AM
Am I A Blessing or A Curse - By Mistletoe January 28, 2014 at 05:03:37 PM
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