just underneath the skin

I cry out into the expansive night, to no one in particular. To this vision in my mind. This white phantom. To her. Her. No one. The little shadows I envision at her feet; ghosts of me, or her, or both of us. I’ve never seen them. I never will. Their reality is too much for me already – perhaps they’re even too much for her. I’ll never know. I don’t want to know. It’s enough that they live in my head, whether I wake or sleep. She lives there, too. A constant torment. A vision that leads me…nowhere. I’ve given up my home and my family for this. I sicken myself. I starve myself in hopes of cleansing her from my body, my soul. But I’ve become a wraith, and still she remains.

What of me? Will there be anything left when she’s through?

There’s hardly anything left of me now.

My nightly call chokes itself off and I whip away from the crater’s edge, eyes wide with hunger, thirst, and fury. I don’t ordinarily deprive myself of water – my dry tongue catches my attention and I make off for a nearby stream I know. I’ve worn the path myself over the last few months. Has it been longer? I’m not really sure. But I know where relief is, at least for this. And that’s something. The familiar path is somewhat comforting under my feet. The gathering dark falls against me like a blanket and I find comfort in this, too. My eyes adjust effortlessly to the changing light as I plod forward.

A shadow manifests itself as I close in on the water and I slow my pace, watching. Part of me wants to simply turn and move downstream, away from the stranger and further into my own thoughts. But I haven’t spoken to anyone since I left Iromar, and my curiosity gets the better of me this time. I lock onto her as I approach, confident footsteps drawing me to the edge of the stream as though I’d never hesitated at all. “Evening,” I offer evenly, though my dry throat makes me somewhat raspy. “Do you always lurk in dangerous places?” I pause to let her wonder what danger I’m referring to – is it me? Is it other travelers? I dip my head to drink, quench my thirst, but everything in me is focused on her.

I’m thirsty, I’m snarky, but I’m not stupid.

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four ;; Demon King x Blood Mouth ;; no partner ;; angel dust Iromar