There's never a good time to tell someone you are leaving them. It rarely varies depending on the person, too. Mother, in all her frail womanhood, all but swooned at the thought of her youngest son venturing out into the world on his own despite my three years being closer to the mark of an adult than a child. My eldest brother, Ark, though toned in dutiful reluctance, was the first to encourage me to go - but that was expected. One less competitor for the throne was probably some great relief. Considering I had height on Caleb and weight over Aster, he probably considered me his greatest threat. But I'm leaving it to them to squabble over the lordship. It just seems so... petty.
Speaking of the other two; they are no doubt, in some way, glad to see me go. It is no real secret in our family that my middle brothers are rather... unimpressive. Nearly twins upon every aspect, it sometimes seems as if they split their genes in half. The problem is, neither got the better or worse end of the deal. They were both simply parallel in their mediocrity, easy to discard and forget. I barely gave them a thought when coming to my decision to leave, though they seemed the loudest in protest. But they are happy. They hide behind their familial act, but they are happy to have one less puzzle to solve on their path to the throne. Neither of them are any good at puzzles.
This leaves Father.
Never before have I disappointed my father like this, or so he claims. To leave the pack is desertion; it is throwing away duty and responsibility. I beg to argue that all I am throwing away is a pointless competition between myself and my blood kin over his eventual blood splatter. I really have no interest in such things, not when I could find a better life on my own. I say better not to mock Ark's capability as a leader, mind you. He has been groomed as an alpha far more thoroughly than me or the twins. But it is in the twins' reckless, idiotic unity that I find most discomfort. One on one, Ark could destroy either of them... but they are more likely to team up and take him down together, then quarrel over our father's enterprise until one manages to win. I see this; why doesn't anyone else?
But I am the disgrace. I turn my back on my family and my pack, the band of misfits my father has picked up over the years. I'm supposed to feel some loyalty to these people, feel some desire to be their sovereign leader. But they are... nothing. Some of them make the twins look like the archetypal princes and I have no need for such slobbish, useless sheep in my life. I may never be welcome to return home, but somehow that does not seem like such a negative consequence.
Spring is a season of great change, the perfect symbolism for this new direction in my life. As I laid there, in the tall grass beside a river which I could not name, I felt at peace with my decision. It was rather warm at the height of noon and the sun made my darkened brunette fur shine with a mahogany hue as it was prone to do in direct light. I had my long, slender legs stretched as far as they would go, admittedly a little sore from my travels. My head was arched back, displaying the creamy white patch that splashed my throat and trailed narrowly down my chest, and my eyes were closed against the light of day. For a time, I simply indulged myself in the warmth of the sun and the birdsong which rang delicately in my black rimmed ears, enjoying a peace I had never found back home.
There was no one here to request a service, no one to entertain in boredom or pretend to care about. Mother wasn't hovering over me and father wasn't looming like some monolithic tribute to my future. Caleb and Aster weren't around to wear on my patience and Ark... Well, Ark. Perhaps my eldest brother was the only thing I wasn't entirely pleased to be rid of.
Then again, his shadow was nearly ever-looming as our father's.