I had known something had changed about her. Her scent was different as the winter and spring pressed on. I was not positive what had happened...I just knew that my light had come back. That I didn't feel so empty and in shambles anymore. Things were right again...and that is all that matters.

I didn't get it at first. I did not realize that she was...pregnant until she told me, even with the look she gave me with her glittering orange eyes. I had realized that she was holding within her...puppies. Life. I still cannot seem to think and put things into words so clearly. I certainly love that she is carrying puppies...my puppies. That I am going to raise them, and be their father. But such a thing is also...terrifying. I remember my younger years. I remember how my father didn't speak to me...how my mother was never around. I remember how...how much it hurt to know my father didn't speak to me when he could. I...I am having trouble with words, since my light was stolen away from me. Even though she has been with me again, I have no developed back to normal yet...and I fear, that I will be like my own father...and fail my children.

She is going to give birth soon. Her belly has swollen large recently, and I find myself trying my best to hunt for food to satisfy her hunger. I want her to be happy, and to never feel pain again. I had seen the wound upon her, the wound caused by the thick scent of other males that lingered upon her when she returned. I know they had hurt her, damaged her body and I was...not there to protect her. She is better now, but I always have this feeling that I failed her in the back of my mind...I must...try my best not to do that again. So I lay at the mouth of the den, my golden eye staring deep into the little home we shared.

I whined softly when her paw came up and touched my nose. My head tilted slightly, wondering what was going to happen next as her words come to my ears. I understood it...that the puppies were moving and wiggling inside of her. My grey paws scooted me a little closer into the den, my muzzle of silver and shadow laying on top of my paws as I continue to look at her with growing concern. I notice her movements, no matter how subtle, and how they affect her.

She mentions Sen, and if she needs help, I know he can. He helped her before, even with my hesitation. I only nod slightly, the light of the sun glimmering down upon my dark fur. As time goes by, I can tell the little movements in her frame. How the pain is starting to come in waves. I can only lay and watch, my muzzle reaching out to nudge her as she speaks my name and announces the birth is starting. It takes a long while though, for the pup to come, and it worries me. She is in pain, her body is not the same and I swear I can feel every little tremor inside of her, every little spark of movement inside of her.

I feel it deep inside of me that the first one is born. It is as if the world shift in focus, the world lighting up bright then ever as I shift myself further into the den, my one golden eyes falling upon the first pup. He is so small, so small and dark like me. I allow her to bring him, my own nose reaching out to nudge him gently as my light then speaks of...getting Sen. I am stunned for a moment, feeling the love for my son and then feeling the clench of my heart knowing my light was in trouble. I shift, turning my head out the den and immediately finding my voice. I called out to Sen, calling him to come with haste.

I turn back, my tongue gently caressing her cheek as she gives birth to the next puppy. She...she is exhausted, I can feel it and sense it. She does not even lift her head as the next boy is born, and I instinctively knew to grasp him gently in my mouth and bring him to her. I show him to my light, and I lower him by her muzzle. I clean what I can off of him, knowing she is weak. I get off all the blood and natural birth, slowly lifting and taking him to her belly.

I do the same for the third pup. I bring him to her, if she cleans him or not, and I take it upon myself to clean his dark fur. The second pup was much lighter in color, and I am amazed at how different they can all look. It makes me smile gently, although not for long as I worry about my light, hoping Sen will get here soon to help. There is so much blood. I allowed the third pup to stay near her face...I think maybe perhaps, she needs to have her lift next to her to remind her to stay here, to not fall into the darkness...that she must stay here for them, not for me.

The last puppy is born, but it takes me a moment to get to him. I...I am wrapped up looking at my light suffering, her illumination starting to fade. I whine, I whine and I lick her face over and over, trying to keep her here with me. I look over, seeing another pup wiggling in the birthing sac. I panic, and quickly grab him in my jaws and rip away what was preventing his breathing. He cries out, and I allow him to lay inbetween my legs. The third pup still remains near my light's face, and the other two by the belly. I...I hope this is all, as I fear one more...would suck the very life out of her. My concerned golden orb looks from my sons to the mouth of the den...when will Sen get here?