IP: 120.149.119.230
Posted on April 3, 2014 at 07:09:26 AM by e d e n
how long will we blame the devils on our shoulders
I have been thinking lately, of my similarities and differences from the others. It is something I see in Anselm the most - how odd it is that he is but almost identical to that old man, a pelt so white and eyes so very much unlike mother's. It is much to think about. Anselm, see, looks even more alike to him than his own grandson, Solaris. If this is not odd than it is sure to become so soon enough. I, too, see a similarity though perhaps it is one more... internal. Many speak of princesses and princesses and yet, I see only weakness among them - they lack so much, missing pieces that comes from the blood of kings and kings before, I am sure. They claim to be of such but they lack... control, the need for it. They get by on their folly and blood relations all while lacking what it is that Heyel had conquered using. Why? Why is it that I possess so much more thirst for control than even those born of royal blood? No other will answer me this, I can be assured.
I have a lot of time to think, particularly when Solaris is not around. Mistletoe, it seems, has proven herself to be... odd, too odd and perhaps not in a good way. I have seen her with another male, doting over him and I do not understand the allure. Weakness, I think, attracts weakness. It is why I am repulsed by the sickening wretch that is Lihi - she is weak, but I am not. It is hard enough to keep her hideous, scarred face out of my mind's eye when I am actively engaged. Now, I must pursue distraction after distraction lest I return to Diveen to close her throat in her sleep. Distractions are hard to come by here. I seek elsewhere - the borders.
Like a shadow, I am, despite the paleness of my fur. Quiet, deliberate, every movement thought out flawlessly before I step through the bramble and shrubs. It is no easy task to eavesdrop and yet, I have learned much merely from hushing my own whereabouts all these years. There is another here, though, that is not so hushed - I can hear it charging through the grasses; the lazy foot falls of a child, I assume. I pause if only to hear her bearings, listening as she suddenly changes courses. I, having found my distraction, follow suit.
When I find her, I am not surprised. She is of white, beneath that dirt, the furs of red sticking out enough to see across her chest. Yet another relation of Solaris, though she is not of Taviora. I watch her through the grasses before stepping out behind her, peering at the frog she clasps between her paws. It struggles as she prods at it and she cries out - win? She thinks this is winning? I stare down at her, my eyes boring into her skull and through to her inner daftness. There is no winning in merely doing as any creature can do. I take a step forward, pausing at the edge of the mud before I speak, the Latin of my voice as empty as ever.
"You do not win until it screams."
I pause, my eyes narrowing only so slightly as my lip twitches in amusement. If she wants to win, she will need to try harder. Perhaps if she is lucky, I will teach her.
"Make it scream."
Replies:
- insatiable love for the dead - By achlys. April 3, 2014 at 05:55:39 PM
your tragic fate is looking so clear - By Calliel April 12, 2014 at 05:19:31 PM
it doesn't exist if you can hide it behind your teeth. - By e d e n April 15, 2014 at 05:03:34 AM
God, I want to dream again - By Calliel May 26, 2014 at 02:31:51 AM