Light 'Em Up!!

Be careful making wishes in the dark, dark
Can't be sure when they've hit their mark
And besides in the mean, mean time
I'm just dreaming of tearing you apart

The day had been a rather great one, though it was fogged over by pain from my tail. I suppose something in the form of guilt washed over me, a new and foreign feeling. I have not felt guilty for killing in a long time, though really Moonglow brought it on herself by doing all of her thrashing. I must see Niviaq, a wolf who claimed to know about the healing art. The halved tail burns and aches almost constantly, though the nerves and such are dying as they had when my paw had been deadened.

I would perhaps never understand the importance of such a silly thing as a tail in posturing, but I know that most wolves around here tend to place a rather large amount of significance on the wrong part of a wolf. The tail does not tell all of the story. A wolf could be lifting their tail just to lift it, or they could be aggressive. One could not know by tail alone, and one always can tell with the expression of another what their intentions could be. I spend my time getting to more important matters, things that require action. Besides, I have enough of the appendage to get my message across. If a wolf is going to be looking at my hind end for my personal status, they will be staring at the wrong end of my anatomy. I try not to dwell upon body language, letting my actions speak for me. Which brings me to my visitor today.

A wolf by the name of Pan gave me a good reason to pay him a visit, or rather, to have him visit me. Using the time wisely, I took a patrol around my territory, ears constantly on the move for those still hidden in the mountains. The ones like Taliesin. I had hoped she had the strength she boasted during the battle, that mockery of strength that kept her going. It appears she was instinctive after all, surrounded and engulfed by the need to protect young. I sigh, moving almost wearily to my den within the mountain. Reflective eyes catch the sight of glinting and moving gold ahead of me. I silence my steps, making sure to catch my dead paw upon the right ground. I am surprised when I see the set of thorns, step on them anyway, and feel nothing. Taking the thorns from my paw pads, I move once more, keeping to a path made by goats and big horn sheep. The den I have chosen for myself is a wide room, located at the mouth of one of Spirane's many transfixing tunnels. This is where I am likely to be found. In the mountain. Every sound echoes here, even those mournful howls on my border. Respect lets me stay away.

Such a strange bond these imprints have. I sat watching in the shadows of the rocks, looking down on the deaths of both alphas, just knowing this was going to cause trouble. Following Taliesin as he searched for me. So many events, so close together. It was chaos! It was utter heaven, and I soaked up every bit of it with all the fervor of a drunkard with his first bottle of wine in the morning! Never the less, I had appointments to keep, even if they do choose to leave, or to try and attack me. I go into this meeting prepared, ears flicking as I make my way behind him. When he stops, I do as well, his words making a grin escape my maw. I bring myself forth, moving to sit beside him as if I simply appeared there. "Good day to you too, Pan. Excuse my tardiness, I was taking a walk around the mountain." My white ears swivel forward as he continues with his purpose for the visit. I am not so amused when he suggests how I hold myself to others. "My dear, Pan, if a wolf is staring at my tail for signs of dominance, I daresay they are looking at the wrong side of my anatomy. Wouldn't you agree?" I give him a softer look, continuing my own speech. "I would love to hear what your ideas are for productivity. I am thinking of a pack meeting soon, if you wouldn't mind speaking your ideas there?"

My questions are not as long winded as his own, though I do hope he will tell his ideas to the pack. If pack is a family, I want them to know what I know. Perhaps, not all of the truth, as we see what that gets us. Maybe I am this tyrant everyone speaks of. Maybe I am the powerful dictator. I know I am cruel, and wicked. I abhor weakness in every state and seek to wipe such a thing from my sight. But, I am also logical, I can be social. Perhaps not with the mutinous lot I have now, but soon others will come. Weak bonds with a ruler ensure a short lived rule. I may have to expel those who cannot handle me. Those who view me as a murderer. Not my fault she could not hold the wounds she thought she could burden. It is not my fault she appeared to be stronger than she really was, if for a second she thought she couldn't handle the fight, she should have submitted when she had the chance. In the end, she reflected herself onto my frame. In the end, I watched the light leave her eyes in the battle for survival. Consumed so much by her want to rule. She thought I was consumed with it? The line continues, even now, her whelps lay in one of the mountain's very dens!

I am venting. I pull myself out of my reverie, meeting the odd black gaze of Pan. Gold, and coal? There may yet be a diamond in those eyes, there is something about gold and diamonds that I am fond of. He seems to be sound, though a bit on the fast talking and smart side of things. He would be interesting as a spy if his contenders get anything above him. I need loyal wolves. Prove to me you can be what I need Pan, and I shall see that you get what you need.

A constellation of tears on your lashes
Burn everything you love, then burn the ashes
In the end everything collides
My childhood spat back out the monster that you see