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Her mysterious perfume taunts me in all the right ways, causing my attention to focus like it hasn't been able to in months. Ever since Fathom died before my eyes and I lost it, I haven't been able to regain that same focus I once had. It's better when Natalya's around because my soul feels whole but my mind's never truly there. It's always a million light years away. She commands my attention like she's the only wolf on this earth. Her first question has my ears flicking back, my eyes flickering with something akin to sadness before I reply. "I'll admit it when no one else will. Yes, I am weak." My ears prick forward, golden gaze fixating on her, wondering how she'll react. I'm sure that's not the way she expected me to answer. She was pinpointing my pride, goading my testosterone but unlike other males, I am not afraid to be what I truly am, a mere wolf. I keep wondering what brought her out here tonight. Was she lonely or was she looking for trouble? Does she not keep busy enough in Taviora? I hear she's of high rank there. Surely Coza must be missing her. At her next words, my spine prickles. She wishes to speak of my reputation now? I know that many know my name but whether its for the right reasons remains to be seen. In my eyes, I was never much of an alpha. I fought my challengers and I defended my lands but I never brought the pack together as Heyel did with Trenus. My most loyal pack member was Risk. He was with me through it all and only when I no longer had a pack for him to come back to did he leave me. I couldn't blame him, knowing his ambitions lie elsewhere. Kiska was loyal but I earned her loyalty by fighting her. It was always our best method, using violence and the heat of battle to communicate. Heyel was loyal in his time with Paracon but he wanted a throne and he went out and got it. Risk earned his stripes time and again and I never did anything to deserve it. He will always be remembered for that. What am I remembered for besides being undefeated and viciously attacking my own pack mate? Maybe violence is too overwhelming in my blood. Maybe that's why my pack and family were never that close to begin with. Look at us now. Even my newest children are loners, sticking to themselves. Natalya wanders off a lot. So do Adonis and Atania. Even Exodus and Jak at almost a year old go their seperate ways more than they're together. Most of my children are gone, dead, or hate me. Kane, Chance and Zeteri seem to be the only exceptions. What does that say about me? I'm about to voice as much when she suddenly gets into my personal space, leaning her muzzle tantalizingly close to my own. My tail flicks, my ears flattening to my skull as my whole body seems to tremble with sudden energy. What is this? What is she doing? Her voice is silky smooth, her breath warm and flattering on my cheek. I look straight ahead, afraid to meet her gaze otherwise I might fall into those dual toned gazers so familiar to my own. I might forget that its not her and that could only lead to disaster. "You have no reason to fear me. Not unless you find me on a bad day." I murmur low with a hint of amusement in my voice. It takes everything in me not to let my voice shake with the strength it's taking me not to reach out and inhale her haunting perfume by the lungful. Finally she retreats but only a little, staring into my eyes as she speaks once more. My ears prick toward her, fully attentive as if she pulled the very strings that make them dance forward. She changes the subject to something I'm more accustomed to, hunting. I lick my lips. It has been a while. "I might be, if you make it worth my while." My eyes gaze daringly into her own now before I brush past, bolting forward, my long legs eating up the ground as I glance over my shoulder to see if she'll be joining me in a midnight run to our feast. |