Fitful dreams, full of despair and fright, doubts and nay-sayings. I could not stay asleep any longer, nor could I force myself to go back to the dreams of my once love. I think I loved him, I spent my days thinking of him, and wandering by his side with his gypsy heart and mine beating as one. I felt the need of him and I felt desolate without him. How could I not? I left Glorall with him, I went to Spirane with him and the band he called family. Then...nothing. I had heard nothing from him, and I felt it snap. Our bond, I felt the thing splinter as he left me, I felt it break when he decided he wasn't coming back. I growl softly into the warf, staring into the wet, foamy sand beneath my white paws, wondering if we are as it is. What is the point to all this if we are just pieces of dust pulled by an uncontrollable wind of hormone and instinct? I look up to the starry navy sky, understanding that dawn was but a few moments from breaking over the vastness of the ocean horizon.

Perhaps, I am losing the wool over my eyes now. Maybe I am turning bitter toward a world where no one wants me, not even the wolf who is supposed to want me. But, when I lost hope, I ran back home. A sobbing, broken, seeping mess of skin and bone; I showed up on Tesseract's doorstep, and I asked to be by the sea. I will not leave this place again, it is home to me now. I move across a shallow part in the waters, having had to wait for low tide before I could cross to the island I had chosen for my den site and base of operations for any medical needs the pack may have. Inside my den, I have several other dens carved out, some of which only needed to be maintained thanks to some unknown pack before us. I have added onto some of the areas, making them a bit bigger to suit more wolves at a time.One area I have used as a stock-pile room, where I have all sorts of beach side healing tools. Aloe - for healing shallow wounds and other skin ailments, Arnica - anti-inflammatory, Ashoka - the bark is used for combating swelling when chewed and laid on the area, Astragalus - when ingested helps boost the immune system; these are only a few, and currently the only ones starting with "a" that I have found. I am working on my stores, which also includes moss and other lichens in case I have bleeding happen. I have cobwebs all over the place, ready to make bandages if I must. My sorrow has been well spent picking and plucking and finding my supplies to fill my little den network.

I sit on the island's edge now, looking out over the sea, watching the seals play in the waves, spying sharks surfing for seal meat, dolphins fishing out further in the ocean. Mortz says there are monsters in the sea, I think the monsters are on land as well. Land monsters look like us, speak like us, sea monsters bare what they are on their outsides. Life is cruel, and hard, but hope keeps driving me to push on. I begin to sing to the dolphins, smacking my paw against the waves that came up, howling again. Curious seals stop and stare at me down the way, and I simply watched them back with my night time eyes, simply waiting as I used to when I did this. Soon, I see the rounded tips of dolphin dorsal fins, a soft smile touching my lips as I howl in a high, yet pure, pitch. This earns me a peel of shrieks and whistles from the grey blubbery creatures, clicks and high pitched screeches follow as I drop my tone, one of the marine mammals getting excited and jetting himself up onto the beach, skimming around in the water as if he wished to race.

I smile and stop my song, watching as two more of the agile creatures skims in the shallow surf of the beach. Something flutters to life within me, like the wings of a bird flapping after being broken for so long. I trot beside the fourth dolphin to go body surfing, dancing along side it, moving it into deeper water so it could keep up. When the water is half way between my ankle and the middle of my foreleg, I began to run. Each of the six dolphins in the pod joined in the game and I laughed, making sure they did not try and cut me off, their grey bodies a bit hard to pick out of the dark waters of night time oceans. They stay in the deeper waters, and we race around the island, three rounds we go when I finally begin to tire out, making my way to the shallows of the beach and watching as they too go their own way. I land my seat in the sand, smiling softly as I watch the seals come back to the beach as well, having been scared off by my odd behavior. I go back to picking over my stores, making notes of what I need to get from the free lands, wondering if anyone is awake to help me this night, though, I pick a room in the den tunnels, residing and caring for others in the same area. It makes things easier that way, and should anyone have questions about what they may have seen, they can ask me. It helps me to stay fit, this way, I can be faster when I am needed in a pinch.