twelve - no heart - Heyel's soul - Spirane
this is her in blackouts
Natu can feel his presence nearby even as she turns away from him determined to ignore his existence if only to assuage the guilt that lies constantly in her breast. For the majority of her life it seems that she has been plagued with only depressing memories and very few actual moments of bliss. Those few memories of her family have begun to fade with time; for so long she has mourned their loss. Yet she had begun to realize that perhaps it wasn't their loss, as selfish as the thought is, that made her feel such - perhaps it was her loneliness. Only recently has she reconciled with her crazy brother, Warlow, and that is only due to the change brought about from his own imprint. She dares not burst into their quiet contentment with her own malcontent. To destroy something so fragile and precious would cause nothing but more doubts within herself.
She has Sven but that, too, is an imposed sort of bond. It is only because she didn't know his real parents, he didn't know where he came from, and the accusations he had spun that she had kept him with her. He was growing into a handsome wolf but she knew he was still wary of her. By now he knew of her blackouts - he had actually been the sole reason she had figured it out herself - and perhaps held a degree of forgiveness for the actions she cannot remember. Even though Natu cannot truly forgive herself. Life has been a spiral of nothing but problems compounded on problems.
The tender meat of the calf slides easily down her gullet but it settles on a roiling stomach. This instant bond feels like a tether. She can feel as Heyel draws ever closer and determinedly keeps her head angled towards the meat. Perhaps he will pass her by and continue on to his mate. Away from this weird bond that now attaches them. It would be best, she believes, for her presence in his life can only bring about more problems. It wasn't as if she had meant to come here - she had run from Spirane to clear her mind from all the issues that she kept high on the mountain tops. And had run straight into a new damned issue. The fates were certainly conspiring against her.
Heyel comes to hover over her and Natu finally sighs, a loud, disappointed sound before lifting her muzzle, now stained with droplets of calf's blood so that her blue eyes can clash with his violet ones. She does not look upon him with hope, joy, or even derision at the moment. The only expression that can be described is reluctance. Ears prick as he speaks some strange language but she does not alter her expression, does not offer confusion or interest really. Did he speak such to make her look dumb before him? The thought swirls in her mind, festers; she had seen how he gazed so cooly upon the rest of the congregation. Although he certainly was a prime piece of male flesh Natu was never really drawn to the cocky sort.
The moment the word chicka falls from his lips so casually her ears finally fall to half-mast and a flicker of annoyance appears within her eyes. The bond whispers for her to lean forward and touch his muzzle with hers but his words are the best sort of antidote to such a feeling. Natu is not a spritely young wolf to be looked down upon and his euphemism almost exudes his feeling that she is young, untried, untested. It is an insult to her very being. It is strange, the rush of annoyance that he brings for Natu is most usually a kind, patient wolf (excepting the recent developments due to her accident).
He proceeds to ask her if she knows who he is and that too rankles. She has kept to the mountain since her arrival and she has heard little news nor does she much care for the politics that some thrive upon. Natu pushes herself to stand now as she looks upon him. Heyel is much larger than her but her body is filled out healthily and built with her own muscles - she is not one to have survived simply from kindness alone. "I am no chicka," she answers, her tones dulcet but also a tad irritated and an ear flicks back as well to drive this point home. She will not be talked down upon simply because Heyel believes himself a God.
"Am I supposed to know who you are?" Now her head tilts questioningly with a deadpan expression. Of course she doesn't know. "It seems we are talking now, are we not? I am Natu and who might you be?" Besides my other half, she thinks. If things were different and they were different perhaps his presence would be met with a thrilled smile and a soft wag of her tail but they are not. How could Natu know that she had just inherited the soul of a male that spawned the Angel bloodline? That their bond would make her vulnerable to even more hatred? Perhaps Lillith had felt something when she had attacked Natu, had somehow known about this. Perhaps the gods were up in their clouds having a damn good laugh at the whole situation although, Natu suspects, Heyel might not be so thrilled with her reaction. Sometimes a little disappointment was a good thing.