thirteen - no heart - Heyel's soul - Spirane
sister of warlow, dam of none
this is her in blackouts

Although Sven could never give her his love - and really, why should he after the atrocious memories he no doubt had, memories that she sadly lacked - she still tried to make him as comfortable as possible. Time had passed and the edge of her fear had worn away but the guilt ate at her. Every single time she looked upon Sven she could see the sadness and the unhappiness that clouded his vibrant orange eyes. It was horrible what she had done and it was horrible what she had failed to do. She should have set out to find his parents. But her own selfish guilt had kept her from doing just that. Now he had grown into a fine, handsome young wolf and soon he would be off on his own anyways. There was still time. Time to make it up to him, not by food offerings, but by finding the family that he so desperately missed. The family she had stolen him from, the family who no doubt ached for his absence and that of his brothers. She was their nightmare and she was her own worst fear.

She had toyed with the idea many days now to approach Ailith and enlist her help. The female was training to be an assassin; she was clever and no doubt good at finding things hidden. It was her own uncertainty that had held her back. She felt as though Ailith would understand where this predicament had come from - after all, she HAD saved Natu from Lillith.

Knowing that Warlow and Mistletoe would have had their litter by now she can' help but think at how those children will look up to their parents in adoration. The same look that Sven must have given his parents and the one he would never give to her. She did not hate him for it. She loved the child, the child she had stolen. Her heart swelled in her chest as he shuffled from within the den but her own eyes were filled with a mocking kind of sadness. She did not want him to be so unhappy and yet she had made him so. Oh she didn't hold him back from exploring but he was young and knew nothing about anyplace. She had kept him in that sense of darkness in her own sense of self-preservation.

She was no better than the demons that had caused this mess.

In time he would grow and deserve the love of some wolfess. She had shaped the beginning of his life but she would let Sven shape the rest - it was his right. As the idea with Ailith once more tickled her mind she thought that if she did so she'd not tell Sven unless his parents were found. That way he wouldn't get so excited if things failed. Because honestly she hadn't heard any talk of a missing child - then again, she wasn't the most in tune with everything.

"It is a beaver. See the tail and webbed feet? They live at the edge of rivers and chop down trees to make dams in the rivers as well as homes for themselves. They also taste pretty good." Natu smiles at him, broad and hoping to elicit even the smallest ounce of friendliness from the wolf. "He is yours to have. After you have eaten perhaps.... I could show you around Spirane some? I have left you without much knowledge and for that Sven, I must make amends." It was a small peace offering, an olive branch that she hopes he will take if only for him to know a bit more about this place that is his home. Temporary - that she knows for certain for he will not stick around forever - but a home nonetheless.