maybe

(music ^^^^)

I had never had the blood thirst of my sisters, yet here I stood, a wolf's lifeless body hanging from my jaws, blood staining the white of my fur. I was used to stealing the life from another, but this....left me still processing what happened. I mean, I was not in the wrong, but normally I would have felt atleast some quilt for falling back to an almost primal anger, but I felt nothing; In fact it almost felt good, like even if I wanted to, I wouldn't have stopped myself. All I could do was just stand there stunned, all this time I had thought myself to be different, set myself apart from my sisters, but had I just been denying the cold truth from myself this entire time? No. No I wasn't like them, I wasn't killing them for no apparent reason, I had even gone so far to seemingly resign my contract killing for a life of thievery. How did this whole thing happen anyway?

~~~Le Flashback~~~

I don't know what drew me back to this cursed caves. This had been the place where my friend Natu had almost slipped from this world, where I saved her from the jaws of the demon queen. But here I was once more, like the shadows pulled me back in. I moved with the silent, lethal grace I always did hesitating in my step only at the opening, but venturing in regardless. My icy blue gaze scanned the darkness cautiously as I stopped just inside and out of the sun's reach, wondering why I felt this desire to be here. Could it be Eric was somewhere inside, that was the only other time I had felt a pull to a certain area. But I did not scent him anywhere, meaning something else brought me here.

I heard the snarl from the shadows as a large male wolf stepped out to confront me, his body language extremely aggressive and full of nothing but bad intentions. His deep, menacing chuckles had my frozen gaze narrowing into a glare, my hackles raising defensively. "I remember you, you were the one who saved that one weak piece of filth Lillith threw away," he said, striding up with a look in his eyes that made me snarl. "He will do best to not speak of her like that," I bristled with anger, but refused to bite into his jibs. He grinned from ear to ear and moved ever closer. "She sounded so pathetic as she fell down, down, down into the ravine," he hummed musically. He moved closer until I could feel his tail brush underneath my jaw, making my lips rise into a snarl, yet I still did not bite into his bait. "He would be wise if he refrained from speaking and touching her," My patience was clearly running thin. I turned and quickly tried to leave and get away from this pressing male.

And then he signed his own death wish. He had the audacity to rub against me and then snap his jaws at me, cutting off my exit route. "Where do you think you're going?" I snapped. I was on him before he could register what was going on. He tried to defend himself, but he was no match. I had ahold of his throat, my teeth ripping in as I used my strength to close off his wind pipe. He flailed desperately, crying out and trying to run away. Maybe I should have released him here, but I didn't. I began to shake him like a rag doll, his fighting slowly stopping as his life drained away. I stopped my onslaught, allowing him to fall limp, his breaths and heart beats having ceased. I panted and just stood there, stunned.

~~~End Flashback~~~


I dropped the body and just stared down at it blankly. I was panting and shaking from the adrenaline still coursing through me. I felt a tug inside of me, like something was trying to get my attention. I heard and sensed someone coming into the cavern. I looked up and around, could it be Eric? I was so distracted looking for him, I failed to notice the large male sneaking up behind me with a savage look in his eyes. I turned to his snarls, but he was already upon me. His body slammed into mine, sending me flying across the stone ground until there was no ground left. I began to fall, feeling in that moment what Natu must have felt that day not long ago. I slammed against hard, jagged rock, tumbling down until I hit the bottom with a large slam and a yelp.

The whole world seemed to spin, everything was blurry and dark. It hit me so quickly, the pain and throbbing. My blue eyes looked down at my body that seemed as heavy as a stone, seeing the blood, except it was not the male's blood, it was my own. It was so beautiful, the color of roses and warmth, spilling onto the stone floor from the many wounds I had sustained on the fall down. In this moment I felt so weak, for the first time in my life actually. I couldn't move, yet something inside me fought on. It was the part of me that belonged to Eric, the part of me that was friends with Natu, the part of me that belonged on the mountains of Spirane.

"Atii Ikajuq (please help)," I managed, each breath feeling as if I was being stabbed in the lungs. I hadn't even noticed I slipped into my native tongue, but it wouldn't be hard to guess what I had said. But wait, why was I asking for help? I was strong, I grew up on the tundra, I could get myself out of this hole no matter how bad. I could feel Eric's presence in the cave, allowing me to summon the little strength I had to stand on wobbly legs that struggled to hold my body. I started moving forward slowly, one painful step at a time. I didn't dare stop, if I stopped I would fall back down, so I had to keep going.

After what seemed like an eternity, I was back to the top of the ravine. I collapsed, my breathing heavy and shaky. I had no idea what had transpired up here or if Eric was even around. All I knew was that the world was swirling and blurry and I was fighting to keep my eyes open."Eric," I barely managed through my desperate gasps for air. I had saved Natu from this situation, but would someone be there for me?

8 years | loveless | tied to Eric | Spirane | ♥