His words cut through me much the same as mine had him. Though I searched for his gaze, he moved so that I could not truly look upon him. It was in those moments that I knew perhaps I should have guarded my tongue as I had demanded he guard his teeth. Things had escalated perhaps much further than they should have, and I should have known that he would not take this news lightly. I hardly could have expected him to. And in an instant, with one word, I had shattered all of the progress we had made. True, he and I would always battle for dominance over one another. He challenged me in ways no other wolf could, and perhaps that was what had captured my heart. Now, though, it seemed as if everything I had hoped for lay around me in ruins.

Though I could not catch his eyes, I watched him, one ear trained upon him while the other pivoted to listen to Meryl’s reprimanding words to Ceal. I know that my efforts to meet his eyes, to soothe the rage that I could see welling beneath the surface, were futile. It was only when Meryl moved to touch me, to undo what Ceal had done, that I felt myself give up – at least for the time being. I had strained the injuries on my neck in my efforts to look upon him, and welcomed the relaxation lowering my head and surrendering to Meryl’s care offered. I nodded silently when he asked my permission, though he hardly needed it. We were part of one another, despite every other uncertainty that was sure.

From his first practiced touch I felt myself relax, but only for a moment. Leonidas’ movements were not unnoticed, but I could see him better now. He kept his back to me, gazing out upon my kingdom. Surely my painted healer had felt the momentary tenseness rise in me once more, but as he continued his work I calmed myself once more. It was Ceal’s words that caused my brows to pull together sorrowfully. Though in my stillness I was unable to see the tears that welled in her eyes, I heard the shakiness in her words. She, too, was upset. Was this how my reign was to begin? Causing pain to two wolves that I cared so deeply for? Any hope that I had felt to someday whisk Meryl away from Diveen, so that he could live here with me and be a constant presence in my life, became dust in the wind. How was it that our souls could be made for one another, if our mere being around one another caused such discord? He had come of his own free will, while also at my bequest, to heal me; to tend to wounds that I could never have predicted their level of severity.

Once Meryl had finished his work, I was able to slowly lift my head once more, careful not to over extend my reach and displace the work he had done. Looking up at him, I offered a sorrowful smile, knowing coming here could not have been easy for him. We were, perhaps, coming closer to a point in our lives in which we could call each other friend. But the events of the past hour had thrown yet another rock beneath our paws, ever complicating the course to the friendship we both sought. “Thank you, Meryl. Perhaps you can show Ceal these things you spoke of, so when you take your leave she might be able to assist Niviaq in any ways she can?” I grinned, turning my gaze upon my sister in hopes that this would cheer her, to know that I did in fact want her help. If she was to be a healer of the mountain, I wanted only the best, and I knew she was capable of becoming just that with time, practice, and patience.

But it was as I looked to my sister in those moments, grinning to reassure her, that my face fell. My eyes searched the periphery, and my stomach fell away. “Leo?” I called out. But I knew the truth, I could feel it in my chest. He had left me, again, when only an hour past he had sworn to be my shield. Blinking away the tears of frustration, my nose wrinkled and I bit into my cheek, refusing to let a single drop leak from my eyes. Exhaustion crashed over me, and I looked to my attendants each in turn, strength trying to push through the tire that I felt. “Thank you both. I shall sleep now. I trust I shall see you both come morn?” I was grateful for them both, but now I wanted to be alone. I thought that perhaps this night, my first night as Queen, I would lay sleeping with my Bloodrider, my painted warrior, close at hand. But it seemed that that would not be the case.