He had been hopeful that seeing A’idah’s gentle nature and hearing her words would calm the beast in his mother. But as Orhan stood tense, staring intently at the skinny black mare that had raised him, he heard what A’idah said – specifically, he heard the lack of confidence in her voice - and all hope abandoned him. It would not work, he realized.
His mother’s reaction was, therefore, unsurprising, but no less disheartening. This is futile, he thought.
In that moment, it was as if he was looking at his mother from across a canyon. Suddenly the veil of ignorance she wore and refused to take off was so clear and real to him; suddenly, his mother was half a stranger. How can I possibly reason with her? His lips opened and closed and twisted and tensed as he strugged to find the words, while his face burned with anger and his tail lashed like an angry viper.
“Why?” he mimicked her, his dark eyes glowering and his ears pinned back against his crest. ”You ask me why? Ana, look at their faces! Look at the faces of these horses you do not know. Look at the faces of these horses you have condemned without knowing a single thing about them. You treat them like monsters come to destroy us, when it is you who has your hoof raised! You ask me why I would welcome a purebred into our home? Well, why shouldn’t I, when that purebred has shown none of the horrible traits you warned me about, and when it is you who is showing them instead? You - you ikiyüzlü!”
Any self-control he had clutched onto before was now gone; Orhan’s face was a maelstrom of rage, his brow wrinkled and spittle flying from his lips. “For so long I wondered why we had to be alone, why it was just us in this godforsaken desert. But now - now it’s pretty clear to me.” His laugh, when it came, was short and hollow. “Ana, if this is how you treat harmless strangers who walk into your home, then no wonder I only had you growing up. So I ask you, Ana, what good have your ‘teachings’ ever done us? What good have they done at all?”
To his dismay, his voice cracked. He had done it – he’d breached the unspoken boundary. He had challenged the mare who had raised him. From that moment on – whatever came of this encounter – he knew that his and El Aran’s relationship was forever changed.
And that was terrifying.
|
